THIS WEEK’S CONTEST:
This week, we are hosting a LIMERICK contest. Yes, that’s right. I want you to write limericks. Because they’re really, really fun. They can be about anything, but bonus points if they’re about something positive in the midst of the existentially strange time we’re all existing in right now. You can submit them below in the comments, or in an email to the UHP!
Don’t know how to write a limerick/know what a limerick is? That’s alright! A limerick is a type of poem that’s got a delightful jovial energy to it. It bounces back and forth throughout the stanza. They’re all five lines, with a rhyme scheme of AABBA (lines 1, 2, and 5 rhyme, and so do lines 3 and 4). They also all have a pretty specific rhythm. Check out the following limericks for some examples, or visit this website for a more in-depth exploration!
There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, ‘It is just as I feared!
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!’
-Edward Lear (famous for popularizing the limerick!)
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.
-Anonymous
LAST WEEK’S WINNERS:
We received some truly incredible submissions to last week’s contest, so deciding this one has been rather difficult. In the end, we decided to award two winners. One for beauty, one for creativity (of a horrifying kind). But we’ll post all the responses below! Congratulations to Sara Iagnemma with the UHP Raven and Matthew Oberstaedt with the eldritch abomination Brainy McBrainFace. Both of these came with original drawings:
.Sara’s mascot is the Raven, because they’re both some of the smartest animals on the planet as well as omnivores!
Matthew’s was, well, as follows:
“Meet the new UHP Mascot: Brainy McBrainface! Brainy is a walking, talking, personified brain, and they are, like, totally jacked from flexing all that intellectual muscle UHPers are famous for. Brainy can usually been lifting weights with one arm and a beaker in the other, demonstrating the careful balance between taking care of one’s body and mind. Brainy has a big, goofy laugh that annoys pretty much everyone, but is endearing to the right people, and they can’t shut up about politics! Brainy’s spinal cord is basically their body. They typically wear shorts, a graduation cap, and shoes… BUT NO SHIRT, because, I repeat, they’re totally jacked.”
Congratulations to you both on your tokens!
Honorable Mentions:
That’s not to say the other entries weren’t excellent though! Here are the other wonderful submissions we received:
Cindy Y. with TWO mascots, for the two campuses we exist on! A buff-colored doe for the Vern, and a blue rat (who are omnivores!) for Foggy Bottom. And she drew them too!
Sydni Nadler came in with the delightful recommendation of a badger named Martha who carries around a little pile of books and wears a UHP-logo-colored scarf!
Mason Hubbell had the excellent suggestion of a studious hippo reading a book, with glasses or a mortarboard!
Crab Rangoons
This is an ode to crab rangoons
A love I’ve had since I came out the womb
My favorites are from Chalin’s
And the only thing keeping me from falling
Is knowing as a UHP alum I’ll be back there soon
I’ll give you one light and one dark, just for interest:
There once was a fellow named Dean
whose butthole was spotlessly clean
for all the TP
went to him and not me
And now all I’ve got here are beans
There once was a digger named Gary
who most people found quite scary
but if you’d go and check-in
he’d greet you with a grin
then you’d be the next one he’d bury
The Online Townhouse!
I love the online townhouse
You find great content with a click of your mouse
From riddles and jokes
To game nights with great folks
In this storm, the UHP is our lighthouse