By bevvy2212
Ok, hold your scream mom, I know you’re discretely reading this via google translate, but what I’m about to talk about has nothing to do with the topic, at least not in the way that you expected it to be.
What I learned this week about the French and their confusing culture is their way of handling personal spaces and their “petites bisous”—kiss on the cheeks.
For someone like me who has little regard of people’s personal bubbles and always enjoy popping them to test their boundaries, the French might not like me very much. It is weird because I remember vividly back in high school when my French teacher told the class that the French are way more intimate than Americans, which has not been the case for me, or maybe it’s a Paris thing. I kept on forgetting that Paris does not represent the entire France. In fact, most people have told me that Paris is one of the few exceptions of France and only the Parisians are mean. (Not that I’m complaining about living in Paris or anything).
I was having coffee with a couple of French girls one day and their comments about personal boundaries really threw me off. First of all, no hugs. Don’t go around hugging people you have just met five minutes ago. (Oops, guess I’ve been doing Paris wrong for about three weeks now?) A wave or a hand-shake like “Good day, sir”, should suffice. Um ok? I don’t know how it is for other people but I am a very hug-ish person so I have been very self-conscious since that conversation. I would flail my arms in excitement when I see my friends yet have to forcefully retract above mentioned flailing arms in order not to hug them. Yes, it has been a struggle.
The French like to kiss each other on the cheeks, at least they do it to their fellow Frenchmen, and these little kisses are very confusing and super awkwardness-prone if you don’t do it right. Back in Peru, kiss on the cheek is a must. Even if you are just meeting a friend of a friend with whom you have never met, you kiss them first, then you introduce yourself. But I guess the French are more selective in this process. Since I want to get submerged in the culture so everytime I meet a new French friend, I look excitedly at them like a puppy staring at a piece of meat, hoping against hope that they would smack their precious cheek against mine, only to be disappointedly rejected by a handshake. Yesterday, I was meeting up with a French friend for dinner and she brought another friend with her. We both looked at each other, eyes full of uncertainties. “Are we doing this?” Our eyes read. Then her head leaned forward for an inch. “Oh? Oh! We’re doing this!” I thought. I handled the whole situation smoothly, the kiss didn’t feel out of place or anything. Brush dust off the shoulder. *Pat pat*.
So yeah, I guess in conclusion, don’t touch them, unless they initiate it or if you are specifically interested in them. Vice versa, apparently if a guy touches you surreptitiously, (yes, I sound like I’m writing a romance novel for six graders, surreptitiously) then that means they are interested. Guess I’ll have to be careful not to send out all sorts of mixed signals…