By ltchouaffe
Cameroonian-American. Two simple words but with so many complexities at the same time. But a good kind of complexity. The kind of complexity that truly makes you different every where you go and that was me. I was always different from the rest because of the two cultures that I come from and while this can be struggle for others, it was, thankfully, never a struggle for me. As a matter of fact, I embraced being Cameroonian more than being American. It was in the truest sense, the best of both worlds.
At home, I eat dole and pork and yam and listen to Francophone music with my family while at school and with my peers I binge watch TV shows and talk about the latest news in the states. I think part of the reason, I was so comfortable with who I was because I grew up in a city and went to school where cultures were embraced and encouraged to be talked about and shown off. It was so welcoming and easy that in many ways, now that I look back, I took it all for granted and never actually dived in into who I actually was.
Being abroad for the past five months have actually changed all that for me. One of the reasons I came to France was to learn French. You would think that because my family comes from a Francophone country, I would know French but I didn't. I grew up speaking French but the when I started school, I struggled deeply to keep up with my classmates which resulted in my parents being told to teach me English at home. As time went by, I lost all the French I knew and as sad as it is to say, the thing is I didn't care nor did I need French to survive.
With my entire family living overseas, we very rarely get to see them so there was never any pressure. However, two years ago when I came to back to France for the first time in 10 years, I had a sort of Epiphany when I realized I couldn't converse with my grandparents. It was in that moment, that I knew speaking French was a major part of my culture and that not speaking it or even knowing a little bit of it in some ways went against who I was.
Since that moment and in my time in France thus far, I have learned more about my Francophone side of me more than I ever did before. But in that process, I truly didn't expect to learn more about who I was as an American. It is true that Americans are known to think they are the best and to take over a space wherever they are. It is also true that many foreigners frown upon Americans because of our attitude. But I've come to learn the good things about being American and that I shouldn't disregard that part of me either.
I am both a Cameroonian and an American and never before until now have I loved both parts of my cultures.