By jkichton
I write this week’s blog post under two blankets and propped up against three pillows, slouched on my bed in my host mom’s house. This weekend was the first weekend in three weeks that I was actually home! It felt really weird…having no plans, lounging around, and wondering what I should do with my time. Additionally, when I went on Facebook, I saw several other people in my program had gone to the Swiss Alps, or to Italy for the weekend. I thought to myself, “Did I just waste, another weekend here? Should I have gone somewhere, even if it was just for a day trip? I need to make the most of my time here, right?!”
FOMO, as Urban Dictionary describes it, is the fear of missing out. Missing out could mean many things such as missing out on that one Halloween party where everyone dressed up like evil cartoon characters, or missing out on that one night in the club where your friends ran into the Try Guys from Buzzfeed, or missing out on that one trip to Germany where a random shopkeeper gave all of your friends a pound of free chocolate. It is the fear of what you could potentially miss. Therefore it is also related to concepts such as “Carpe Diem” or “Yolo”. Which, if one isn’t thoughtful about whatever they are Carpe Diem or Yolo-ing, then it’s a waste! FOMO is equally as bad fear to have. Its basis lies in the ways in which we compare ourselves to others. This, of course, is inherently a negative thing, and is multiplied tenfold when you study abroad.
As I have discussed in several of my recent posts, I have been struggling with balancing my time in Europe between legitimately enjoying what I am doing, being able to reflect on my trips, and learning about the culture and history behind the places I go, with making sure that I am being the most efficient with my time here by visiting every country/city/historical site/cool thing I can. FOMO makes that worse, because everyone else in my program is struggling with the same thing, and when you see that other people are going out and traveling, when you have chosen to stay home, you question your choices. You say, “Wow. They are so prepared and really good at task management. I wonder how they do it. I really needed to work on my paper today, and I am super tired. But, since I am essentially just sitting at home today, I am clearly not as achieving and go-getting as they are. I am lazy. I am not savoring my time here. Instead I am wasting it.”
No! This is wrong! Do not think for a second that your trip will not be as meaningful as their trip. Do not think that just because you didn’t get to visit one (or two or three of four!) city, see one Cathedral, hike up one mountain, that your trip is somehow lesser than theirs. Do not compare yourself to others because everyone is different and everyone has different limits. Because of this, everyone travels at their own pace. Some people can literally sleep for 4 hours on a train and be rested for the day. Others need a good night’s 9 hours before they can even begin to function. Sometimes we need a break. It’s important to remember your mental health while travelling and realizing your limits. Pushing yourself is healthy, but when you need to stop, let yourself stop. Let yourself say "No." No is not a bad thing. It actually shows strength. Because, hey, traveling is exhausting. It takes a long time, you’re usually not in a comfortable position, you are probably kind of lost, and you may be carrying 20 pounds of stuff with you.
Besides, look at all of the trips you got to do that the other people didn’t get to do. They probably were thinking the exact same things you are thinking right now! Or, look at all the free, homemade meals you got from your host family’s house, whereas they had to pay for their meals. Or, even more simply, look at how much sleep you got! Wow. Sleep is a great thing. And you can never catch up on sleep. So, when you have a warm, comfy, bed, and nothing planned, why not take a little cat nap? Or just browse the internet? To add, not only do you need some days to just relax and be with yourself, but sometimes, you need these days to make you remember how much you love traveling, too.