Studying in Jerusalem has changed me in ways that I could have never imagined. While this experience has solidified my identity it has both softened and strengthened my values and thoughts on many issues and ideas.
I have a little bit of a unique perspective because while I am American, I am a Palestinian, Muslim girl living in Jerusalem. I relate to the religious ideas and I understand the cultural values here, yet three months later, I find myself questioning ideas I once firmly believed and strengthening my values I have always have.
Religion is embedded into daily life in Jerusalem so I was able to experience that while hearing the athan (call for prayer) during class, hearing Qur’an on the bus or praying in Al-Aqsa mosque. I was constantly reminded of my religion but simultaneously, I was able to witness the passion of other religions. For example, I was praying at Al-Aqsa mosque and I heard Jewish chanting for prayer outside the gate. I was amazed by how these two religions were practicing side by side with utmost pride and conviction in their religion. This experience further solidified my respect for other religions but it also made me appreciate living in America as a Muslim because I have to make conscious decisions about my religion since it is harder to practice there, while in the Middle East, culture and religion are heavily intertwined and people tend to misunderstand the religion.
Also, my strength in being a female has only grown because on a daily basis I am forced to defy societal ideas of women by showing that yes, we are educated, yes we can work, yes we have opinions and no, I’m not here to please you. I find myself speaking up more against the typical comments of “You’re 21? Time to get engaged! I have a nephew I would like you to meet.” I am proud I am getting educated and have aspirations that go beyond marriage and children but I also respect women who genuinely feel that is their calling in life without society telling them it is. I dress modestly for my religion and myself and as a Palestinian, I am knowledgeable of and respect the culture, but I do not care to live my life in a way that will please the conservative people.
As for the political aspect of this experience, I am having a hard time putting my thoughts into words. Overwhelmed sums it up. One thing changed: My idea of the people. One thing that didn’t change: My idea on the conflict.
I never imagined befriending Israelis and talking to them on Whatsapp. I never imagined walking down the street and smiling at the Israeli shop owners or telling them I’m Palestinian and them smiling and say “I love Palestinians!” Yet, here I am. It’s cliché and ignorant to say “I learned Israelis are people like you and me” because I knew that from before. What is not cliché to say is that I actually found myself being able to really enjoy my time with them even during hostile times here and we can share the same sentiments of just wanting peace. I am more compassionate about their struggles and hearing losses on either side is heartbreaking, but at the same time I have become more convinced in my views on the conflict. I have experienced many instances of discrimination towards me, I have experienced horrible stares, and comments and hostility and I have witnessed the difficult policies and lack of freedom for the Palestinians. I see the difference in power and the humiliation Palestinians feel. Yet, during the war, I also saw the fear on both sides and how heavily the occupation affects innocent Israelis. While my beliefs on the severity of the occupation have only strengthened, I was able to see the affect it has on all parties. So, I assume you could deem me more compassionate, understanding and open to dialogue. This experience has strengthened my character, softened my heart and solidified my identity. Looking back on the person I was when I came into this experience before and whom I am now is truly shocking. While my identity has grown, I believe what is more important is my confidence in my identity and no matter how my identity shifts the confidence to embrace those changes will always be there.