By rlubitz
I haven’t even stepped on the plane for London yet. In fact, I’m exactly two weeks from leaving but I still wake up every night thinking that I should have gotten a visa even though a student visa is only necessary, that my computer isn’t going to work there because my adapter is going to spontaneously combust and most of all, they’re just not going to let me into their country because I’m gonna be a hot, nervous mess upon arrival. I know none of that is true but really though, I have anxiety about everything.
Getting There
I booked my flight a few months ago at STA Travel on campus so I know everything is alright but because I have anxiety about everything…no. I still think, even though I physically possess the ticket, I’m going to get to the airport and theyre just gonna be like, “LOL jaykay that was all a dream you have no ticket you’re a failure at life. Bye.” They’re not but that doesn’t mean I don’t think that’s still a complete possibility. My mother, my sensai, my everything, knows how to deal with my insanity and that’s to not answer all of my text messages at four in the morning that are like, “MOM WHERES MY TICKET OH MY GOD WHAT” because she knows that an hour later after sending six messages just like it, I’m going to calmly text, “Found it. Why am I such a mess?” I know I’m going to be able to get on the plane, pass out for the six-hour flight and be awakened by a flight attendant and be in a completely different country and world and everything will be okay.
More visas, more problems
I luckily don’t have to get an official visa for England but a student visa, where we just have to hand in a few documents and then we get a stamp on our passports and then we’re on our way. It seems easy and simple and oh-so-lax but that doesn’t mean that I haven’t created a folder with all those documents and their labeled and still every night I have to check it, like a visa gremlin is going to stomp in my room and rip up my passport. This is my first time going abroad to Europe and I am just so thankful that the airport I am going to arrive in is going to speak English because I will most definitely be making friends with them because of my intense fear of them not letting me into their country. They can be like, “I’m sorry ma’am but we’re not going to be able to let you in…” and I would interrupt them and be like, “Oh my god where did you get that shirt I love it!! Tell me everything and let me into your country….” And then they would let me in. Because I complimented their shirt.
I’m going to forget everything
I’m a fairly light packer. I bundle all my clothes into little sushi rolls and can fit a lot into one suitcase but because I have been traveling a lot this summer and am never really home, I have this feeling that a very critical piece of my life is going to be accidentally left at my aunt’s house in Delaware where most of my belongings are or my own home in Florida where my most ridiculous shoes are stowed away. Because what if I neeeeeeeeeeeeeed those hot pink pumps? But no, Rachel, you don’t. I have this fear that I am going to forget to sync my iPod and for six hours I am going to be without music. Or, *gasp* I am going to forget a charger to my laptop and my body will erupt with stress and my mother will not know where I am and then she will become Liam Neeson in Taken.
I’ve started a list I intend on checking every single day of my life until then that lists all the absolute musts of my trip. I will forget something but everything will be fine.
No one is going to like me
For the past few months, I have been working and working and working and sometimes sleeping and doing dumb things with friends. I haven’t really had to make new friends in a while and I’ve taken to holing myself up with books and entire seasons of television shows on the Internet. Frankly, I’ve spent the last few weeks of my nightlife staying up until four in the morning, not wearing pants and watching episodes Friday Night Lights.
Social life??!? What’s that?!?
I’m also not completely in tune with British culture which is, of course, exciting and I’m sure they’ll accept me because I am also small and swear as much as possible in regular conversation. The most British thing I’ve gotten into is reading the great book by English author Caitlin Moran entitled "How to be a Woman." It’s a feminist manifesto of sorts and the funniest book that has ever been written for women in my opinion. Seeing her at a book reading is my ultimate goal of my trip. Besides, you know, learning about cultures and British history and the world.
I am going to be studying abroad at University College London where thousands of international students travel every year so I feel like we can all talk about how this whole experience has driven us nearly insane. Other than that, let’s talk about where I can find a good taco and some fish and chips.
In the coming week I get to sort out what history courses I get to take, what music I should import onto my iPod immediately and how to take nothing but also everything I own with me. I expect the next two weeks to be amazing and terrifying but also life affirming because, as my mother continues to convince me, everything is going to be just fine.