If you were anything like me before starting graduate school, you had a few ideas of what graduate life might look like, but found yourself generally lost as to what to really expect. Most of us have heard the classic graduate school myths, like that we don’t have social lives and only got straight A’s in undergraduate classes. While this might be the case for some students, it’s not a reality for many of us. Lots of these expectations and myths about graduate life are first shown to us in the media, by movies like Legally Blond or A Beautiful Mind. These movies are limited in that they give us a very narrow and often far fetched view of graduate life, but at the same time, they can make us excited and motivated to embark on this new chapter. So since the effects of these movies are twofold, let’s unpack just how our graduate school expectations compare to reality.

Expectation: I’m way over my head, and everyone here is much smarter and better than me.

Reality: Everyone feels this way at some point, but you’ve all earned your spot here!

If my friends and I had a dollar for every time we felt like we were not good enough to be in graduate school, we’d be millionaires! Just like Elle Woods on her tough first day, we were unsure if we’d be able to cut it. It’s very common to experience imposter syndrome at some point during your academic career, especially when pursuing graduate degrees. I was worried that graduate coursework would be overwhelming and that I wouldn’t be able to balance my academics, personal life, a job, and everything else in my life. Whenever I felt overwhelmed during my first semester, I was plagued with thoughts that I was the only one struggling and that I was just stupid compared to everyone else. This was the opposite of the truth! Everyone I’ve met so far since starting my graduate program has felt this way at some point. It helps to remember that you’ve earned your spot here! You applied and got accepted, and you wouldn’t be here if you were not capable of thriving.

Expectation: Readings! Readings! Readings! Graduate school consists of lots of assigned reading, and everyone does it!

Reality: Yes, I’m always reading for class, but not everyone does the readings.

Unfortunately, this classic graduate school myth is not far from the truth, at least in many programs. At the graduate level, you are diving in way deeper to your chosen field than in undergraduate work. Developing your expertise requires reviewing all the research, theories, and other work on your subject. There is a silver lining, though. Since you’ve chosen to pursue a graduate degree, we might assume you are interested in your field! Thus, your graduate reading might not be as monotonous as some of the things you had to read during undergrad. While you may think everyone does the readings for class, there are those brave people who don’t and do just fine! Everyone has their own methods, and I have friends who don’t find the readings helpful and will skip them unless it’s essential for the class. As long as you find what works for you, try not to compare yourself or worry about what others are doing.

Expectation: GRE scores are accurate predictors of graduate success and I must have a super high score!

Reality: I’m successful despite not having the best score and usually they are not taken as seriously as we think.

Contrary to popular belief, standardized test scores are not the end all be all predictor of graduate success. I had a super high GPA in high school and college, yet my SAT and GRE scores weren’t anything special. I don’t tend to do well with standardized testing no matter how much time and preparation I put in. Luckily, more and more schools are recognizing the weaknesses of standardized tests and placing a lot less emphasis on scores. Something I loved about GWU was that they looked at the entire student as an applicant, rather than just the test scores. When interviewing for my program, the director told me how crucial they believed it was to look at the whole picture of the student and their fit with the program. Test scores were never treated as a final deal breaker, and I’ve found this to be the case with many graduate programs here at GWU. Unfortunately for Elle Woods, some fields do take them very seriously, like law school and the LSAT.

Expectation: Everyone here gets straight A’s.

Reality: Everyone has different priorities, and grades don’t define you!

Don’t get me wrong, grades are still very important in graduate school. But straight A’s are not a priority for everyone. Graduate students often have more on their daily plate than most undergraduate students, such as having a full time job, on top of classes. Although I had two jobs throughout my undergraduate career, working while taking graduate classes feels more intense. I think this is due to the combination of more difficult coursework and the addition of more general life responsibilities than undergrad. These added elements make devoting all our time and brainpower to schoolwork nearly impossible. Missing straight A’s does not make you a bad student or less committed than anyone else in your program! 

Expectation: Everyone dresses nice and business casual everyday. 

Reality: No one cares what you wear.

While Elle Woods always looks fashionable, you probably won’t see the rest of us dressing to the nines everyday. Some business and law programs may have dress standards, but the majority of programs don’t place too much emphasis on attire. Grad students have more important things to worry about, like all the reading due next week! As long as you are comfortable and confident, how you dress should rarely be much of a daily concern in graduate school.

Expectation: Grad students have no social life and spend all their time studying. 

Reality: We’d go crazy if we didn’t have fun every once in a while!

While balancing work, school, and your personal life can be difficult when first starting out, everyone eventually finds their way and what works best for them. Having a social life doesn’t just have to mean going out with friends at night or partying. It can also mean having fun study sessions with friends or grabbing lunch together before class. My friends and I have found time to both party hard and chill out when needed. Although the party in Legally Blond is a bust for Elle, fun events like that are not foreign to grad students! Plenty of students also like to grab casual drinks or hit the bars, like Skylar and her friends in Good Will Hunting. Making time for yourself and having fun with friends is super important for avoiding burnout and remaining happy and healthy throughout your time in grad school.  

Expectation: Everyone has their life figured out.

Reality: We’re all just trying our best!

I thought that being in graduate school meant you had your whole life together. This was the time when I was supposed to establish myself in my field, make life long connections, and fully become the perfect version of myself. Because of this, I put a lot of pressure on myself to build new habits and take on more than I could truly handle when I first started my program. I kept comparing myself to friends who seemingly had everything figured out and weren’t struggling with the adjustment to graduate life. However, you can never fully understand someone’s life from the outside looking in. Everyone handles new situations differently, and just because I couldn’t see them struggling doesn’t mean they weren’t! The truth is, not everyone has it together by time we get to graduate school. Lots of students also don’t have their exact life plan mapped out in graduate school. Although I had a fairly firm career goal in mind when starting graduate school, I was still open to exploring other paths I was introduced to. I even had friends pivot their careers in completely different directions based on a single class they took. There is no “right” or “wrong” pace for your life goals, and setbacks or changes are not the end of the world. Your path will look different from your friends, and that’s okay! We are all just trying to navigate through the new opportunities in front of us and create a healthy balance in it all.

There are things that movies like Legally Blond and Good Will Hunting get right, and things that they get wrong about graduate life. Sometimes when the journey gets tough, these movies are a fun escape from tougher realities that come with being a graduate student. Why do the two hundred page reading in front of you when it’s easier to dream about the day you land your first major internship and win the big case? Although romanticizing graduate life is fun, it’s still important to stay grounded and appreciate the wonderful realities that come with the title of graduate student. That doesn’t mean these movies can’t be helpful or comforting to watch for that extra boost of motivation or inspiration, it just means that the reality of graduate life is better than you may have expected before this journey!