#HonorsProblems: Setting Expectations for Yourself

This post was written by Peer Advisor Michaela Stanch, a junior in SEAS studying Civil Engineering and minoring in International Affairs. 

I, like many UHPers, hold myself to a certain level of excellence. In the spring of my sophomore year, I wanted to maintain this level in all aspects of my life. I had an internship, leadership positions in multiple student orgs, and I was going to take 19 credits: four engineering courses, two honors courses, and LSPA 1037, or Indoor Soccer. Due to many unexpected and traumatic circumstances, I ended up taking three incompletes, dropping two leadership positions, and missing at least five weeks of my internship. The only thing close to the standards that I had set for myself in January was the “A” I got in Indoor Soccer. By the time I finished my incompletes, my GPA for that semester was a 2.57.
In order to stay in the University Honors Program, you need to maintain the mathematical possibility of finishing with a 3.4 GPA. While yes, you can do this by keeping your GPA above a 3.4 all your semesters, that’s not required. Your overall GPA doesn’t need to be a straight line; it can (and probably will) go up and down, as long as it ends at or above a 3.4. You are in the UHP because the UHP knows you are capable of that.

I took Indoor Soccer last spring for fun. I am no Ella Masar nor Meghan Klingenberg, but I genuinely enjoy the sport. However, after our first class, I knew two things: I was bad, and everyone else in the class was good. Some days, I was really bad; I passed the ball to the other team, I kicked someone’s shins instead of the ball, and, the one time I was allowed to play goalie, the ball slowly rolled right in between my legs into the goal. Other days, I was actually decent; I blocked goals with everything besides my arms, I passed the ball to people on my own team, and I even scored a goal once.
However, my bad and good moments also didn’t really matter to my teammates nor my coach; what mattered was that we played together and were healthy and happy. When I got a mild concussion from getting hit in the head by a ball, my coach made sure I got rest and didn’t go to class. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t there on the team; my health was more important than any goals, passes, or blocks I missed. After making a comment about how bad I was in April, my coach said “You’ve really grown this semester. You’ve gotten to be a pretty good defender.” At that moment, I felt a little closer to Masar and Klingenberg.

I’m pretty bad with metaphors, but by the end of that semester, I felt as if LSPA 1037 was a metaphor for me and how to approach my life. I learned that you won’t be at your level of excellence all the time, and that’s OK. It is OK to not be perfect. Your mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional health are far more important than being at the ridiculous level of excellence you set for yourself. You may not know all the rules, and that’s normal. That doesn’t mean that you can’t play. Most of all, I learned that it’s not about each good or bad moment; it’s about how you feel at the end. It’s about knowing that win, lose, or draw, you played your hardest in the circumstances you were given, and your team couldn’t be happier with that. It’s about knowing that you are meant to be in the position you’re in, even if you don’t believe you’re supposed to be there.
This semester, I’m taking 17 credits (two LSPA courses), focusing on fewer student organizations, and I have a fun, very casual job as an usher at Lisner on the weekends. I see a therapist every week. I could not be happier with the position I’m in, because I know that my circumstances and I have changed to where I can succeed academically without sacrificing my health. And hey, next semester I’m registered for Indoor Soccer. Maybe I’ll score two goals this time.