I was able to attend a Hindu wedding ceremony at a wedding hall in downtown Madurai as a guest of my host parents. The entryway boasted two, tall, freshly cut banana trees as well as an assortment of small colorful ornaments hanging from the top of the threshold. Women sat at a table outside of the wedding hall with (yellow paste), kum kum, red flowers, and sugar crystals to distribute to guests.
All of the women in attendance were wearing ornate sarees, most of which featured a number of intricate gold details and vibrant colors. The men in attendance sported western clothing that was significantly more casual, typically a button-down shirt or t-shirt and jeans or slacks. This casual style carried over to small boys, who similarly wore sandals or sneakers with a graphic t-shirt or button down. The groom was wearing a white kurta and pants with sandals when he arrived, but later changed into a suit to receive gifts with his new bride and take pictures with guests. Upon his arrival, a queue of women met the groom at the entrance holding plates with rupees fanned out, fruits, and painted figurines depicting couples in love. Each woman and girl offered the gift and was given a gift by the groom in return.
After a group of musicians led the procession of the groom to the stage inside the hall, my ammaa led me to a set of empty chairs towards the back of the hall for us to take. The hall was almost completely full, with small semicircles of chairs arranged in various parts of the hall for older guests and families to chat while waiting for the bride to arrive. Small children were crowding the inner circle formed on stage, playing with one another’s dupattas and also trying to get a closer look at the ceremony itself. The stage was decorated with bundles of flowers, crystals hanging from the ceiling, hearts made out of red roses, and a large banner with the couples’ names printed stretching across the back wall.
The bride appeared after several minutes, decorated in a deep blue saree and gold jewelry. She and the groom sat on the white couch behind them as the groom’s family offered bananas, coconuts, and small sweets on silver platters to the bride. The most important gift, however, was the wedding saree. It was explained to me that the groom’s female relatives (usually sisters as it was explained) help the bride change into her new wedding saree while the bride’s family remains on stage. While the bride was changing into her newly gifted wedding saree, the groom “blessed” his parents’ feet with water and (yellow paste) as a sign of respect. Following her reappearance, the bride performed a similar action on her own parents. Next, the groom’s parents placed large jasmine garlands around the bride’s parents, and vice versa. This particular part of the ceremony seemed to most strongly evoke a sense of unity and connectedness between the two families. The two sets of parents also joined hands while the priest recited a short prayer.
I almost missed the most important moment of the ceremony, during which the small puja fire grew larger and the wedding party led the rest of us in uproarious cheers and clapping. On the stage, there seemed to be a divide between the bride and groom’s families, which contradicted the mixed and cohesive atmosphere amongst all of the guest in the crowd. Friends of the groom brought orange soda and confetti canons to fire at the end of the ceremony, while the bride’s friends appeared to be enamored with the various stages of the puja and intimately talking to one another on stage. Overall, it was incredibly interesting to see the various social connotations of marriage I see in my everyday experiences here be contained within a Hindu marriage ceremony.