Dear Janelle,

I know this week has been somewhat of a rough week. After listening to Portuguese and speaking English for a week in Brasil, coming back to Argentina and speaking and understanding Spanish was pretty difficult. It’s hard to believe that just one week away can make so much of a difference.

I’ve never realized the truth to the phrase “Use it or lose it” until now. At least now I know that my Spanish must be constant; in order to have any hope of being good, I have to use the language every single day. Even when I return to the US, I need to find ways to keep speaking and listening each day – and that starts here, while I’m in Buenos Aires.

Even though I know all of this, I’m still terrified of speaking Spanish. Today, I sat down to figure out why, and I realized that it’s pretty simple: I’m afraid of being wrong. It sounds so menial, yet I noticed that it’s been a theme in my life. I’ve given up my voice in many situations, all for the sake of appearing to be right…but is not saying anything wrong the same as being right? I’m not so sure.

I’ve thought of my fear of speaking Spanish as a trap of sorts. I’m afraid to speak, so I don’t speak, therefore I don’t improve much, and then I’m back to being afraid to speak again. Don’t get me wrong – studying abroad has been a great experience so far, but what’s the point of being here if I don’t learn how to communicate? So, I’ve decided to set a challenge for myself. This week, I’m going to actively practice Spanish everyday both online and in person. Online, I’ll practice conjugations and vocabulary for a half hour every day. In person, in addition to dinner conversations at my homestay, I’m going to make a conscious effort to not shy away from talking, whether it’s at a restaurant, grocery store, or on the subte.

I hope that after seven days of active effort, I’ll be more comfortable with my Spanish – after all, what’s the worst that can happen?

Suerte,

Janelle