By nmbutler3
The end has finally come…Most of my fellow abroad students have made their way back to the States by now. I cannot look at Facebook without seeing statuses about leaving various countries and returning home for Christmas, and I cannot help but be reminded that I only have a week left before I too have to make my way back across the pond. It sounds incredibly cliché, but the thought of returning home is an immensely bittersweet feeling. On the one hand knowing that I’ll be coming home to a warm Christmas-y welcome from family and friends that I have not seen or really talked to in ages, is a nice thought and I cannot help but look forward to it. It also means I’ll finally be able to catch up with friends that have also been abroad and hear all about their stories and adventures. On the other hand though, going home means leaving Edinburgh, and to be entirely honest, I don’t quite think I am ready to do that yet. Leaving means saying goodbye to good friends and fond memories, challenges and struggles, adventures and exciting experiences. It means I have to say goodbye to a new life I’ve established and return to the familiar grind of regular life.
Coming here was in many ways, like starting college all over again. I knew no one, had no idea how the system worked, but thought I knew myself and understood at least my own outlook on life. And just like freshman year, I am leaving behind wonderful new friends and taking with me a much refined perspective on the world around me, along with a much improved understanding of myself. Knowing no one and not having a program of fellow American students to fall back on for support forced me to reach out of my comfort zone and open up to new people almost immediately, which is admittedly not one of my strong suits, but I eventually managed and in addition to making close friendships with people from all over the world, I was reminded how to relate to people, especially people who come from very different backgrounds from what I am normally accustomed to. In reflection, this was probably my biggest challenge while abroad. The similarities of British and Scottish cultures to American culture, as well has my personality, made most other adjustments relatively easy, especially compared to the adjustments other study abroad students had to make; however, remembering how to make new friends and relate to diverse individuals, with whom you often have to navigate between the cultural similarities and differences, can be incredibly difficult. That being said, it can also be incredibly telling of yourself and a, albeit slightly forced, perfect opportunity to connect and relate to others.
More importantly though, studying abroad, flipped and twisted and confused, a lot of what I thought I knew about the world and myself. Living in Edinburgh reminded me how beautiful and exciting cities could be, an appreciation I had started to lose in DC, and traveling throughout the UK and Europe rehydrated my thirst for adventure and taught me to not be a traveler, rather than a tourist. Actually taking challenging classes outside of my usual focal areas led me to new academic interests and made me reconsider my future academic and career plans. Most importantly though, studying abroad has taught me to see everything as an adventure, to see even the familiar through the eyes of someone who is experiencing it for the very first time, to allow life to unfold before you rather than set expectations that constrain and limit your future, and to appreciate even the small details as something wonderful. When I think of my fondest memories here, most are of experiences I had set no expectations for or had not anticipated. From the Scottish national anthem at the national rugby matches to adventures in Belgium to traditional Swedish Christmas carols sung by friends as a St. Lucia Day surprise this past weekend, the unexpected unprecedented moments have been among the best. This is probably because when you approach a situation, not with expectations, but instead with an open mind, everything comes as a pleasant surprise and you can actually genuinely experience and engage with what’s going on around you. Looking at the world in such a way, also taught me to appreciate the smaller details. Back in DC, I walk past famous monuments, national agencies, and international institutions on a daily basis and rarely bat an eye. In Edinburgh though, since everything is this new, exciting experience abroad, every little statue, street sign, painted door and bird are each unique and beautiful details that you cannot help but notice. I have learned to look at the world around me, not has this static imposition of concrete and stone around me, but as a dynamic integration of color, history, culture and art that flow together to create an ever changing, multidimensional picture. I’ve been reminded how to see the beauty in what’s around me and not just see that beauty with my eyes but as an actual tangible experience. I suppose it can’t get much cheesier than that, but then again, that might be the point. I’ve learning this past semester, that when you are traveling, whether it be across the world, or just around the corner to the store, if you are open to the experience, the world has to much more to offer than you could possibly imagine to expect. And with that, I bid adieu to Edinburgh, at least for now.