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Camouflaged

By riakkim

Something that's been on my mind a lot nowadays is definitely the fact that I appear Korean, can speak a bit of Korean, and fit right in both looks-wise and first-impression wise. After some time speaking of course locals realize my Korean isn't perfect and will often ask where I'm from and if I'm a 4-year or exchange student, but it's strange not really being able to fit in entirely but definitely being treated on the streets as a local, in small interactions as one, and just in general occupying this space of limbo. I luckily have met other Korean-Americans who identify the same way and sharing that experience with others in really indulging into our heritage and the realities of being a Korean-American in Korea, and the prejudices and struggles that only we face.

The most obvious, and huge, advantage that I've had here is the ability to comprehend quite a bit of Korean and to speak it- from simple things like ordering delivery over the phone (everywhere delivers here, including McDonald's) to buying street food, haggling down the prices of clothes, organizing group gatherings, and most especially during classes. Despite the reassurances of the upperclassmen who said everybody speaks English here, coming in without being able to read the language (at the very least, it only takes about two hours to learn) I think is both foolish and culturally insensitive. While a large population of Korea can understand English and speak very basic English (especially compared to countries such as Japan), it still can be difficult to do some basic interactions, such as checking out the convenience store.

And while most of these things come with relative ease to me, the biggest struggle I've had has been one of my classes, Electromagnetic Fields and Waves, where the professor speaks about 80% in Korean despite it being a course taught in English (English courses are still filled with majority Korean students, since seats are limited and course registration is quite hectic). Despite the fact that I understand about 70% of the Korean, I'm constantly looking up technical words and added to the fact that I'm not very familiar with the subject and the many variables used, I find it quite stressful and cannot even imagine how much work it would be for my peers who don't understand Korean whatsoever. Korea has really been a place where the rules are flexible and nothing is set in stone; quite different in comparison to America.

Another experience I had that was quite unfair towards my friend from Canada, who identifies as Chinese-Canadian, was when we went to a hair salon in Edae (the area is named after the woman's university, Ewha Daehakyo, hence Edae), an area famous for shopping and hair salons. I had searched for reasonably-priced hair salons in Seoul, and stumbled upon a hair salon called Liso Hair Edae, which had a blog on Naver (a popular portal site in Korea) that looked capable of doing the hair color I wanted for a decent price. I made a reservation for my friend and I as soon as they opened at 11AM this past Friday, and they gave us two stylists, since we hadn't specified which stylist we wanted.

I got super lucky and ended up with a really nice stylist, who was super gentle with my hair and kind the entire time, making sure that my cut on my ear didn't get stung by the bleach and getting me tea and other things from time to time. We made small talk and I had such a wonderful experience despite sitting in a chair for 7 hours (I dyed my hair ash grey), understanding what I was exactly paying for and what he was going to do, since I could speak enough Korean (with the help of an online dictionary for hair-specific words).

Yet because my friend didn't speak Korean and I couldn't be there to help her the entire time, her stylist treated her with more attitude and was much more indifferent to her, not even offering her a drink or explaining what the color she originally wanted fully entailed (she wanted pink, which he said would wash out in 3 days, but told us much later). Seeing her treated as more of a second-class customer was hard to see, especially as I saw that he treated his other customer, a Korean girl, much more kindly and even took selfies with her as she dyed her hair. Yet it seems to be a consistent experience for those who aren't Korean in Korea- this sort of second-class treatment.

As I continue to live in Korea and experience this sort of dichotomy of being a foreigner but not much of one, I cant help but feel strange and that I'm not quite living in reality sometimes. Perhaps it is the combination of being actually abroad and the sense of dreaminess that brings as well as the vague identity I have here, but as fun and exciting as life is in Korea, I can't help but feel a little frustrated and sad towards some of the social ideals still so prevalent here.

Ria in Seoul