Italian Men Are Always Happy To See You

The stereotypical Italian man is a flirt. He’s swarthy and charming, insistent and forward. His name is Fabrizio or Giuseppe, or Vito, or Angelo, and he is always happy to see you. It isn’t his smile or the matching kisses he greets you with that clue you into his pleasure at seeing you, though. One need only to look…ever so slightly south of the belt buckle to see just how fond of you he really is.

Italians are world renowned for their collective senses of fashion. “You will never meet an Italian who does not know precisely how to dress for the occasion,” A friend once explained to me matter-of-factly. “It’s as if they are born with a sense for it.”

In the three months that I’ve lived in Florence, I’ve found those words to be astonishingly accurate. There is a subtlety Florentine fashion in particular that is difficult to put into words. Rarely do Florentines don the loud, garish hues we Americans find appealing to the eye. Bold blacks, muted grays, and regal navy slip and stride down the cobblestone streets here in boots, blazers, and jackets. Florence is a city of, smart conservative style. And yet there are anomalies. Like the male crotch.

There’s no way for me to describe this without sounding every bit an opportunistic voyeur. I’m not. Not really. It’s just really hard not to notice. The cut of the typical Italian male pant is…revealing to put it gently. “Trouser cleavage” as one of my roommates put it, seems to be all the rage in Florence—if not Italy as a whole. It’s one of those glaring differences between American culture and Italian culture that deftly sneak up on you unawares.

One thinks, studying abroad, that the cultural differences will leap out at them in stark contrast to their normal lived experience immediately. In regards to fashion here in Italy, I’ve found that assumption to be patently false. The differences between American and Italian fashion are grand in that their minutiae deviate from one another, while the general ideas remain the same. H&M, Zara, and The Gap—all brands that one would not need to search too hard to find in the U.S. are just as easily found here in Italy. Doing a little bit of online retail research, it becomes clear that these brands looks are rather standardized globally. Again though, the broad idea is generalized, while the minutiae are what reflect their regional differences.

H&M’s minimally designed and named “Pants” are a subdued celebration of the traditional male pant. I own about three pairs of them in an assortment of colors. Curious about the Italian H&M’s color selection I ventured to Florence’s main store and requested to try on a pair.

Unlike my trusted, worn in American, H&M “Pants” these were….different. It wasn’t just that they were crisp, new, and unfamiliar to me. The cut itself was different. Not overall, mind you, but just in…the crotch. No matter how I tried to tug on the material at the thighs I could not de-emphasize my groin. “Oh, that’s how they’re supposed to fit.” The store clerk assured me when I asked her opinion of a teal pair. “Have you seen them in melon?”

I’ve begun to keep my mind and eyes open for these crotch-cleavage moments here. Moments where one simple aspect of a global product or culture is made markedly unique just by changing one seemingly insignificant element. The McDonald’s dollar menu large hunks of parmesan cheese. Uncle Ben mass produces tikka masala And Italian men, whose pants seem so remarkably similar to your own, are forever happy to see you.