By jcapobia
I thinkthis blog is cause for celebration because I’ve made it halfway through my study abroad experience. Although I am not fluent yet, I’m happy with the progress I’ve made both linguistically and in general. I’ve spent the last month figuring out my place here in Madrid, trying to hammer down schedules, become comfortable with my host family, and gain confidence talking to locals.
And for the most part I think I’ve succeeded in finding my place here in Madrid (more or less). I’ve finally gotten into a groove with my schedule and classes where it's almost (almost!) starting to feel mundane as the weeks pass by. Moreover, I’ve also gotten very close to my family. At first, as you can imagine, living with a family in another country that doesn’t really speak your language is a tough hurdle to clear. But I’m happy to say that after two months, I wouldn’t trade the experience for the world. The family is extremely helpful and engaging. All my host-brothers and my host-mom have gone the extra mile to make sure I’m happy, well fed, and that I know what I’m doing in this foreign city (all while kindly correcting my Spanish). And finally, I think I’ve gained confidence in believing that I belong; that I’m more than a tourist in a foreign country. I feel (on the Metro, the Train, on the streets) like I am one of the locals, just going about my business.
Nevertheless, as we stand here post-midterms, with little over two months left, I still feel like I haven’t quite done everything I wanted to and I don’t think I have really changed too dramatically. For example, I still hang out with my American friends. And although my previous blog (Blog #4) had lit a fire under them and guilted them into speaking Spanish more, it’s still like being at GW being surrounded by American (Liberal) friends all the time. Unfortunately, a lot of those foreign friends I mentioned before (Blog #2), have really faded away. Due to my desire to travel (almost) every weekend, I end up only hanging out with Americans all week in my classes and then traveling with them on the weekend. Although I have a considerable amount of free time during the week, I really don’t have time to develop friendships outside the Americans. I remember when my brother went abroad, he told me about the foreign friendships he had made and how he had cherished them. My foreign friends have yet to materialize, largely through my own fault.
Additionally, I’ve realized I haven’t seen nearly all of Madrid as I’d like. With only one weekend left in Madrid (rest saved for travel) I am very disappointed in myself. My roommate is coming to visit this week and I remember telling him that there was nothing to see in Madrid. But really there is so much. Although there isn’t one landmark that defines the city (like the Eiffel Tower and Big Ben define their cities), it still has so much. When I was looking at places to suggest for him, I realized that there was so much here that I’ve seen and now taken for granted, and so much I have yet to see.
In conclusion, at the halfway point, I find myself cautiously pessimistic. Sure, things are going well and I know things have been incredible and better than I could have expected, but I still feel like the push and pull of wanting to travel and wanting to enjoy your host city is tearing me apart. I want to do it all, but am starting to realize there isn’t enough time to do it. Things are swell, I’m just afraid I’ll look back at my time here abroad and realize all I have are some cool photos of the Eiffel Tower and the Venice Canals.
I seek something more tangible; a foreign friendship, an improvement in Spanish, or a connection to the city- My city. If I only leave here with distant memories, 12 megapixel photos, and a few souvenirs, can I say I really made the most of my time while I was here? Or was I just another student who studied abroad, with nothing unique to show for it?
(Stay tuned and find out in May!)
