Something that has been a big adjustment in my day to day life in India has been figuring out which spaces I can comfortably and appropriately occupy as a foreigner and as a woman. In Madurai, I have learned that spaces I would normally frequent in the U.S. (cafes and coffee/sweet stands, restaurants, etc.) are largely male dominated spaces.
Even in my daily interactions at a samosa stand near campus, I am often the only woman standing in a crowd of men having their afternoon coffee, reading the paper, chatting with friends, and observing the activity on the roads. This ratio is not an uncommon occurrence. In restaurants, walking on the road on my way to school, and even at the local shopping mall, the environment is largely male. At first, I didn’t really notice this unfamiliar social dynamic, and simply assumed that the isolation I was feeling in certain spaces was do primarily to my distinct “foreignness” (namely my whiteness).
However, after several weeks, I began seeing this isolation in a new context. Not only was I the only foreigner in a crowded public space, but I would also often be the only or one of a handful of women present. Some of this awkwardness and uncertainty has been significantly mitigated when I am out and about with my ammaa, who’s familiarity with these spaces makes my interactions with it much more comfortable, as well as providing me unique and meaningful access to some of these spaces.
Thus far, I have had a fortunate amount of mobility in certain spaces because of trips with my abroad program provider. With the guidance of professors and program staff, I and other students are able to visit temples, museums, and other landmarks in and around Madurai. However, in everyday interactions with the city, I have met some challenges in breaking out of my little campus bubble and finding new spaces without disrupting cultural norms/practice.
It has been an experience of trying to balance discomfort with the feeling that I am taking over a space that is not intended for my use. While my status as a foreigner has provided me certain concessions when it comes to my (many) cultural foibles, I am trying to make a concerted effort to be as self-aware as I can about these cultural differences and how I can integrate these differences respectfully and effectively into my day to day activities while in Madurai.
I have learned a lot from experiencing this separation of genders in both public and private spaces, particularly about the larger cultural implications of constructing and expressing gender in south India. This division of gender is one that I have never experienced before and definitely one of the biggest “culture shocks” I have encountered during my time in Madurai, but one that ultimately has taught me a lot about my own Western perceptions of gender and the agency that comes along with it.