One of my favorite parts about my study abroad experience thus far has been living with my host family. I have found them to be one of the greatest sources of comfort and support when I encounter a touch of culture shock and general uncertainty in my day to day lifestyle. My family has been hosting students for over ten years and has seen the kinds of challenges students encounter while living in Madurai and as such have become old hats at helping students adjust accordingly.
We are encouraged to call our host family members by Tamil kinship terms (ammaa for mother and appaa for father, etc.). In the Tamil language, using kinship terms to refer to others even if they are not biologically related to you is often a sign of respect or affection. For example, children may refer to older women they look up to or know well as aunty and people may refer to men outside of their family who they respect as tampi (younger brother).
Using these terms in everyday practice felt strange at first, but over the last several weeks I have felt more comfortable referring to my host family with this terminology. I think that it serves as a respectful entry point for cultural immersion while also creating more intimate bonds between you and your host family. My ammaa is a physician who owns a gynecological hospital and my appaa owns an insurance company. They are incredibly social (as I have already been to three weddings with them and a number of other special occasions!) and extremely kind in helping me adjust to life in Madurai.
Whether I need more mosquito repellent or help studying for my Tamil test, my host parents are there for me. Through living with my host family I realized that being taken care of by someone else in a day to day sense is something that sort of disappears in a university setting. While I know it encourages independence and cultivates the necessary skills to enter adulthood, I have enjoyed being taken care of in these small ways. One of my favorite routines during the week happens when I come home from classes on Friday afternoons. My ammaa will be home, and after we exchange stories from the day I’ll have a wash before plopping myself in front of the television in the kitchen. She will turn on the Tamil music video channel or a popular film that we sit and watch together until she gets up to prepare supper.
On Fridays we usually have dosa, which is like a giant sourdough pancake eaten with different chutneys and sometimes eggs (and simply one of the best foods to ever exist). My plate will be full of hot, fresh dosa, an egg over easy with pepper, and usually coconut and tomato chutney. My ammaa knows how fond I am of her dosa, and one by one brings me a fresh dosa. My record number of dosa eaten is currently six, but I am confident I will break that by the end of the semester.
Getting to know my host family through small, intimate day-to-day interactions like this have made my adjustment to life in Madurai not only more comfortable but also infinitely more enjoyable.