By allisonray94
I didn't expect to love Jordan. I expected to tolerate it. As the semester winds down, though, I'm realizing just how attached I've become. Every little experience has become valuable to me, from riding the bus to sitting in a cafe downtown.
Gaining a new home, though -- even just a temporary one-- means pushing my old idea of home farther back in my mind. Days go by and I don't think once about America or DC. I am wrecked with guilt because I miss nothing. I wish I could stay in Amman.
When studying abroad, you have to wonder how authentic your experience has been. Our host families, friends, and extracurricular activities were pre-selected for us. I didn't have to worry about finding a job or an apartment. How much of my experience could I recreate if I returned, and how differently would I feel if I couldn't recreate what I've experienced over the last few months?
I don't have answers to any of these thoughts, but I can't pretend like I haven't considered them. Life in the US hasn't stopped for me, and I haven't stopped for it, so when I return I'll be faced with an unfamiliarity I haven't felt before. I'm scared, but I'm looking forward to graduation and to the knowledge that I can pack up my bags and move to Jordan or anywhere else in a moment. And I know I'll love the experience, whatever it may entail.
Stray Observations of the Week:
- The night sky at Wadi Rum makes you feel more alive than anything.
- Speaking of Wadi Rum, guess who can't rock climb? Me. It's me.
- Yes, you can celebrate Thanksgiving in Amman.
- ^But be aware that oven temperature is often judged by sight here, not numbers on a dial.