By janellekranz
Dear Buenos Aires,
I like to say that I’ve always been a pretty self-sufficient kid, researching decisions before I made them and working since I was 14 years old. But traveling and being abroad alone gives “self-sufficiency” a whole new meaning, and it is oftentimes uncomfortable.
When I first arrived here, I had to stay in a hostel the night before meeting up with my SIT group. I had booked everything in advance online, including a shuttle that would take me from the airport to my hostel – or so I thought. Everything was going relatively well after my marathon trip from NYC to BA, and the shuttle even came to the airport relatively on-time. However, when I got into the shuttle van, I realized I couldn’t talk to the driver.
I was out-of-practice with Spanish, and in addition, Porteños (people from Buenos Aires) speak Spanish fast, without too much enunciation, and pronounce sounds differently than I learned to do so in Spanish class. I was confused and disappointed in myself, even though I eventually (kind of) figured out what was going on: the shuttle only drops off at central locations, so the shuttle drivers coordinated a taxi to get me the rest of the way to my hostel. This was my first experience here, and already I realized that Porteños are incredibly nice people.
However, the longer I stayed here, the more intimidated I was to speak Spanish with people. Everyone was so fluent, and I became frustrated with my inability to convey my regular thoughts. I could follow lectures and talk about academic subject matter as well as basic information about myself – but that was where it ended. Directions and silverware were two vocabularies I was embarrassed not to know already and therefore forced to learn quickly, and the vocabularies for body parts as well as self-expression were also unfamiliar but are in-progress. The realization of how little my knowledge of Spanish is was like a slap in the face.
As a result, I was afraid of almost everything. Refilling my subte pass card and my cellphone balance, asking for directions, ordering food, and especially using the colectivos (busses) all seemed intimidating, especially because I mostly travel alone since I’m the only student in my homestay. But I was required to use Spanish in all of my classes and in my homestay, so I used those instances where I was more comfortable to gain confidence. My Spanish professor told us that our classroom was a sort of experiment area so that when we’re out in the city, we can be in better control of the conversations we have, and I liked that way of thinking about things.
With more time, I began to stay calm when I had to refill my subte card or my phone. I asked my host Mom how the colectivo system worked and had a mini lesson from her about kitchen and dinner table terms. I learned different phases to order food and the vocabulary of ingredients so I can now read a menu. My Spanish professor gave us a mini lesson about the vocabulary for directions. And I realized more and more that everyone here is approachable, understanding, and just plain nice. I think they appreciate that I’m learning Spanish – even when I completely mess up what I’m trying to say. I may be far from being fluent, but I speak Spanish better than I did before this trip. I’m better than I was last month, and last week, and yesterday, too.
When I had gone abroad on my gap year, it was truly the first time I had been abroad. I experienced a steep learning curve, but I was always with my group, which at the time wasn’t necessary a bad thing. Now, I still have a study abroad group, but I have many more adventures on my own. I look back on my disheveled shuttle ride that first day, and I’m astounded by how accustomed I’ve become to living here. So, Buenos Aires, thank you for forcing me to rely on my own skills and words. I’ve become a better Spanish-speaker and, more importantly, I’ve learned to be braver and trust in my own abilities.
Suerte,
Janelle