It is interesting how the things that are important to you, can change so quickly. Deep emersion into a new culture has a powerful and lasting effect on the soul. When I reflect on the fact that my semester is more than half way over, so many feelings come up. Mainly sadness because I don’t want to leave.
Thai culture speaks to me. The people here value kindness and positivity (Land of Smiles) over most things. They value relaxation and never rush, which is a major juxtaposition to the GW lifestyle. I am digging it.
I thought I was really type A. I thought that I enjoyed the “go go go” lifestyle. In fact, I never really have taken the time to stop moving at the speed of light. This semester is the first time I ever slowed down. It is the first time I reflected on every part of my identity. The good, the bad, the ugly, the traumatized, and the passionate.
I moved from Seattle to DC all by myself and I fell in love with my life and my future. I traveled across the world and I fell in love with myself.
I don’t know if that would have been possible without the beautiful stillness of Thai society. Maybe it was the aloneness I had to confront head on. Or the welcoming smiles of the locals. But something about Thailand sparked in me, a new love of life. It changed my identity from the type A, hard core feminist running around trying to change the world, to a more appreciative and deeply spiritual person who is okay with stillness. That doesn’t mean I won’t be running around full paced doing the Cami thing. Or that my beliefs have in any way changed (still a feminist democratic socialist). It just means that my foundation has grown comfortable with seeing as much good as I do bad.
I guess a better way to put it is with my favorite metaphor: A tree (I have a big thing for trees. I am so stereotypical hippy. I am from Seattle, what do you expect?) My branches are the same. They are growing the same direction and reach the same sky. The trunk of the tree however, is now rooted in different soil. The soil is stronger, and more nutritious. I think everyone needs a little Thai soil. It really does grow the most beautiful trees.
