... and let's be honest, it's for you too!
Your high school senior has pressed all the "send" buttons and their admissions applications are submitted for the upcoming fall. FINALLY!
Now it's time for you parental emotional inventory:
✓ Whoa, that was Fast!
The holidays, birthdays, and even other special occasions were likely even more of a blur than usual, which leaves you feeling tired and a bit cheated.
✓ Your Credit Card Statement
Your child was eager for your credit card and exactly zero advice; this is good news in the abstract, but leaves the nest feeling a little emptier already
✓ Your Nightlife as a Ghostwriter
Okay, so most likely you weren't writing your child's college essays, but you there's a good chance you were editing them. Consider yourself lucky if you weren't invited to share any ink from your editor's pen, although you might feel a little in the dark about what lies ahead.
✓ Did We Get In?!
Despite taking regular doses of perspective (which is now available over the counter from any blog writer who has helped a child navigate this process before), you still feel more invested in the outcomes than you know you should.
• • •
Now for the long months of an exhausting combination of lack of knowledge and lack of power over the circumstances -- when you just know the tension will be high in your house. You already know what the late, great Tom Petty says about waiting. While I have been on both sides of the admissions curtain and the mountain of reading has its own dispiriting side effects, I can say with certainty that the side of the curtain your child is on is harder to bear.
Time for distraction, for both of you. Here are five suggestions that can cheer on your anxious child and hopefully, will provide you with some lasting memories for you to hold onto in late August as the car is pulling away from the curb and your child is already playing frisbee on the quad.
#1: Movies (Obviously! But not just at the local movie theater)
Complete a top-five list of your favorite movies from all time periods. Explain why in a sentence or two (be sure they are not all rom-coms or war movies; mix it up a little). Then invite your senior to do the same. Dedicate one night a week to watching movies form the list, alternating between yours and theirs. To add a level of subversiveness and devil-may-care, do it on a weeknight to communicate the importance of balance.
#2: Meals, Together! (I know, I know you've heard it before, but you gotta)
Face time is crucial. Once a week, assemble the family and go old-school on mealtime. Even if you have to order in takeout, gather everyone at the table and do something corny like a best/worst of the day, or best joke you heard this week.
#3: Date Night with Your Senior
Believe it or not, access to you is still important to them, especially if there are other siblings in the mix. Take them out for a one-on-one dinner (if you come from a two-parent household, you should each take time for a one-on-one rather than team up as more will be shared when it feels less like an interrogation). Let them pick, even if it's bland and boring to you.
You don't have to make it a meal -- try choosing a museum you have been meaning to visit, a professional sporting event, going shopping, or a local hand-on art center for a little therapeutic pottery crafting. Even a walk or workout together is good bonding time (as long as it doesn't get too competitive)!
#4: If You Must Talk about College, Deconstruct It
Now is actually a great time for them to spend some time thinking, not about where they want to go, but what they want to get out of their time on a college campus. There are loads of great books on this topic, such as Excellent Sheep or The Closing of the American Mind.
Talk about the process itself -- now is a great time to get their feedback on what felt good about the process (i.e., self-reflection) and what felt toxic about it (i.e., pressure from peers, society, etc). Reading Overachievers: The Secret Lives of Driven Kids, a book about what happens to high school students when their entire existence revolved around college admissions, was one of the best gifts I ever gave to my stressed out, overcommitted kids because of the change of perspective it gave to me.
Remember that they still have classes to take and you will still have a schedule full of your own obligations. Reading together should be fun and not another thing on an already scary to-do list. Trying choosing a chapter, or even a long passage, to discuss.
#5: Do some just-for-fun exercises that sneak in a little success-visualization, such as:
- Next year at this time, what do you see yourself doing?
- What will you do with your free time?
- What kind of course would you take, not just to fulfill a requirement, but just for you?
- What will you look for in your crew of friends?
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Do you have your own suggestions? Share them with us, so that everyone can benefit! Easily comment below or connect with us on Facebook or Twitter at @gwadmissions.Meet Our Blogger
Christine Butler
Special Assistant to the Dean
GW Office of Undergraduate Admissions
B.A., University of Virginia & M.Ed., University of Vermont
I have three college-aged children and one middle school child -- this accounts for all the gray hair in the given photo. Despite the fact that I actually work in higher education admissions, I am the least patient person in the house when my children are waiting for their admissions decisions.