falseconscious – Page 2 – Postcards from GW

The Journey of a Seeker: Midterm

AdminOctober 8, 2013

I feel I would be leaving out a large portion of my exchange experience if I do not share my reflections of it, even if it means I am not posting pictures and exciting videos of my "adventures".

What am I doing here? I don't mean this in a bad way.

What do I stand to gain from a SGD$12, 000 debt-incurring (exaggeration) bomb of a trip around the world? What does this proletariat hope to achieve? What do I bring home? How do I find a way to rationalize this?

Some of you have an idea. Some of you are here for a year, and can apply for an internship. Some of you are not here for a year and will be staying for a spring internship. You would gain work experience and a professional network.

What about someone like me who is only here for a semester?

At this moment, some of you will be asking why did I apply for exchange if I do not know what I am applying for. I do know what I applied for. I had to write an essay about why I applied and what I hoped to learn.

My application basically read, in summary, that I am a seeker of knowledge on a journey of learning. I begged for a chance to know why people were so crazy about exchange trips when they came back. I wondered why exchanges are "life-changing" and why people miss being away from their exchange universities.

This blog post during my midterms is the halfway point of my semester-long participant observation. Like an essay half-written, surely, by now, I must have gathered some tidbits of lessons. Surely, by now, I must have some idea of what an exchange is about.

There is this uncanny craze about "Buzzfeed" amongst students. I know because I see all of you on it when I'm trying to pay attention being the only one writing down notes on paper. Here are 3 lessons I have so far:

3. You only know you love something when you miss being away from it.

I have 101 things about Singapore I would like to change. However, I want to go back and change it myself (and this could be me feeding off the spirit of change-making in GWU).

Among the things I miss about Singapore include a world class medical and healthcare system that is affordable and accessible. I got stung by a bee a few weeks ago and I panicked and searched for coverage in my insurance network and opened a new tab on Google chrome to look at WebMD which seems to always tell me I have 2 weeks to live. Now I have a list of 101 things I love about Singapore.

This is probably an unintended effect of being on exchange. I seriously do not mean to say DC is less than any city in the world. I really love it here, government shutdown and all (sorry for those without jobs or pay at the moment).

This moment of separation is like a $12, 000 timeout. It's an investment I am making to be someone who would function better once I return to my society. The desire to return is not just a longing for familiarity. It is a desire to go back home and make concrete actions. For instance, I miss my family and therefore I want to go home and spend time with them.

I broke away from the monotony of island life to come up with an endless list of things to do back home for my personal development, for the betterment of my relationships with my loved ones, for my future career and so on. Missing home is emotional, but it is also a cognitive function that allows one to focus on what matters most and build up a determination to accomplish more.

Let D be determination/homesickness measured by the number of months and C be the number things to change and T be things you want to do when you get back. Let P be the measure of positive effect on an exchange student.

P = D x (C + T)

D and C are always positive integers. Therefore there will always be a positive effect on you. C and T might be zero. If it is, think of something.

2. Happiness

The second lesson I got was about searching for happiness.

Let's face it, you're away from the things you take for granted. You can't download movies on the snail paced wifi. You don't have your local favorite food or drink. You're away from the people you love. You're away from friends.

This isolation begs you to search for a new happiness. The happiness of an exchange student. And the methodology involved in your personal search for it tells a story.

Who do you first think of when you want to call home? That person will give you happiness. Provided you're not calling home for only for money. In that case, you seek happiness in greenbacks. If you're happy with money and you're rich, you'll be fine. If you're not rich, or do not have the potential to be, you'll have to search it somewhere else.

What do you need the most in the dorm? How about in the fridge? What do you like about your roommates? What kind of company do you find precious? What do you think of when you're alone? What do you reach out for, metaphorically?

The best drink is just plain water. The best food, honey, is the vomit of bees. The best perfume or smell, musk, is the secretion of a deer. And sex, is putting excretory parts of 2 bodies together. Even "nature" is telling you, sometimes, happiness can be found in simplicity or even in disgusting places.

Sometimes happiness is a frozen pizza while writing take home papers for midterms. Sometimes happiness is waking up on time for midterms. Sometimes happiness is not having midterms. It's about appreciating what you have. All that, just from midterms.

Personally, when I go home, I'm getting up earlier to do more things that I have made habits here that I don't do in Singapore, like taking a morning walk to get a free cupcake and eat it by the river. Having breakfast with my family or with friends in school would be an equivalent. Increasing my P quotient here (refer to lesson 3). Happiness also takes effort. A smile requires some muscles to move. That means you have to get off your bed and go to class you lazy bum. Carpe as much happiness that Diem offers.

1. Continue to go on "Journeys"

By journey, I mean exploring life.

In a class I had on Mount Vernon, we read Plato's Apology, an account of the trial of Socrates in which the latter proclaims "the life which is unexamined is not worth living". This statement read aloud in a room of fellow goofy wannabe philosophers struck a chord with me.

Look what reflecting in this blog has done so far. That's 2 lessons right there not including this one.

To learn, you have to seek. To live, you have to examine. Otherwise, you're just waiting to die.

My biggest lesson about exchange so far is that I observe and as life continues, I continue to observe and there's always something to learn.

It could be that you learn about the limits of your body. Like how I'll never be able to cycle up Columbia heights in my current shape.

It could be that you learn about your academic life: what kind of lessons are most conducive to learning, what are the qualities of a good student or professor, how different your home college is for better or worse, what are your strategies for success or your plans to just enjoy life as a student.

I guess it's my lesson for you too, and for any prospective exchange student.

This is an investment for you to open your eyes in a situation where very few things are familiar. Observing and examining life is like recalibrating your smart phone compass in a figure-8 movement. Just do it, otherwise you can't see what's on your life map thanks to the annoying notice.

You don't have to be on exchange to examine. You don't have to be on exchange to be happy. You don't have to be on exchange to miss and love things or to make to do lists.

But while you're on exchange, you better start examining exchange life and finding things to do or learn.

Malay-Muslim

AdminOctober 1, 2013

By falseconscious

It’s not classy to take pot shots at one’s own country now that one is thousands of miles away. However, I feel, the following has been and will be a significant part of my exchange experience.

My identity, being a Malay and Muslim, does not really stand out here in the diversity of students in GWU. Yet, somehow, I feel who I am matters in the sense of the nuances that it brings to my perspective of life in DC.

Academic Performance

I am reminded again here, like in my freshman year, of the desire to do well. It has something to do with being new to the environment, having to revisit my identity and express it.

I must first give some form of context for you to follow. Firstly, being Malay in Singapore is socially interpreted as being Muslim to the same extent that Koreans, Taiwanese and Chinese are just perceived as a monolithic “Asian”. Secondly, the academic “underperformance” of Malays as and our “general socio-economic well being” behind the other major ethnic groups are among the most discussed social issues in Singapore. A local equivalent – although really much different – is probably a mixture of the African-American and Native American social issues the American society may be concerned with.

So – and some of you may already guess my tone while trying to be politically correct here – that it stands as an “achievement” that a Malay is here in GWU and doing well in school.

What more if he scores full marks for an essay, topped his class, and claimed a free cupcake from Sprinkles.

For most students here, doing well in college is just a product of effort and an expression of academic desire and is part and parcel of college life. Some people get As. Just a fact of college life.

For me though, having been through an education experience that included various extents of racial ideas and emotions, doing well is proving a point.

Sometimes “doing well” is disproving the idea that my culture and religion is in any way inferior to the nauseating overtures of Confucianism stuffed down our throats in an attempt to somehow demonstrate Asian values. Also – and this is rare and some of you may find it strange that such ideas still persist – “doing well” shows that I am biologically and genetically equal with my fellow Chinese Singaporeans. Not to mention that a good “academic performance” in seeking knowledge, is not merely “Asian” in the state-defined Confucian sense, but is also part of my identity as well.

“Race” is a messy and complicated issue that would hardly fit on this blog post even if I talked about it in all my posts.

Just to keep things simple for now: even though my grades don’t count and I just need to get a pass, getting an A in GWU meant something to me, no matter how small the assignment or test, because it has always meant something to me throughout my life as a Malay and a Muslim. I am not overly competitive. It just means that aside from being grateful, I have a small emotional dynamic to the psychological process of grading that would lead me to say something like:

“I am happy to be a Malay-Muslim doing well in my short time in GWU”.

Religious and Secular

My imagination of life for a Muslim here would be one that is much more difficult than life in Singapore. After more than a month here, a simple comparison tells a different story.

Food is something I take for granted in Singapore. Two words: abundance and cheap.

Therefore, I can safely put aside that variable, despite my Halal dietary requirements, because any Singaporean would argue that the food here is more expensive, or that certain ingredients are hard to find.

Enjoying a hearty but relatively “cheaper” meal in Mehran’s, a Halal Indian food outlet in the area.

The expression of the “religious” and “secular” presents itself as the independent variable.

As in Singapore, there are mosques here in DC, which are accessible by private and public transportation. There are even similar niche religious-activities I would usually go for.

What is different though is where religion expresses itself in public areas, especially schools, which would usually be reserved as “secular” in Singapore. A heated and sensitive issue is the wearing of hijabs for those in uniforms such as students or nurses.

Sitting amongst locals and foreigners in an Islamic center sharing stories after a session of the remembrance of “God” and the prophet (peace be upon him). I wore this in the Metro all the way to Shady Grove where this event was held in an attempt at participant observation. Hardly an eyebrow was raised throughout the journey.

The issue of footbaths in American colleges: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/07/world/americas/07iht-muslims.4.7022566.html?_r=0

A weaving of religious into the secular goes for all religions here. There are churches among buildings here in the Campus.

The most commonly heard “reprimanding”-statement used by politicians and community leaders alike in Singapore when we ask for more “space” for us to practice, is that if space is given to one, space must be given to all; something along the lines of: “if we allow you to pray in school, then we must also built temples for the Buddhists and churches for the Christians”.

A footbath here is a huge blessing, let alone an entire room. In Singapore, prayer areas for Muslims are unofficial and technically illegal (sometimes it is a hidden staircase) and ablution (that’s washing parts of our body before we pray) is a messy process.

Being a Muslim undergraduate in Singapore is an enriching and lively experience. The experience here in GWU is similar, if not better in many ways.

Defense

Again, it’s not classy to take “pot shots”, and I did not intend to at all throughout this post. I am merely highlighting some of the key differences in student life.

Despite my own qualms with education in Singapore, I am somewhat proud to be its product.

In proud defense, my home university is ranked 29^th in the world by “Times Higher Education”, 22^nd in “World Reputation” by the same evaluator, 24^th by QS World University Rankings, 17^th in the world for the Faculty of Arts and Social Science, 2^nd in Asia.

For god’s sakes we’re not in China, we speak English and certainly, we’re among the best schools in the world – and I have a free cupcake from Sprinkles for my A-graded essay to prove it.

Take me out to the ballgame!

AdminSeptember 23, 2013

By falseconscious

Baseball is not a popular sport in Singapore but we know what it is because of Hollywood movies that range from cheesy ones with dogs that can catch to the movie that I watched on my plane ride to DC: "42".

"42" tells the story of Jackie Robinson who played for the Brooklyn Dodgers. He was the first African American to play in Major League Baseball. I may be biased because my life experience has made me a little tender towards any stories that tell a story of discrimination, but I would recommend it to those who haven't watched it or those, who like me, would have avoided watching baseball movies if not for the fact that I was terribly bored on my 20+ hour journey. Aside from the emotional story, that movie also got me interested in baseball and its rules particularly because the legendary player in the movie played quite interestingly.

So, when the opportunity came for me to watch a game with fellow exchange students, organized by the Office for Study Abroad, I was totally up for it. The Office also kindly arranged for an after-school session of learning how to play baseball so that "noobs" like us could actually understand what would be happening on game day.

Playing "Wiffle", with baseball rules.

Game day itself was an experience. It was different from watching baseball on the television or in the movies. From where I was, I couldn't really see the dust being kicked off the ground. The huge mega screen showing replays from various angles, the crowd's cheers and the music was what helped me guess what was going on. The Nationals led initially, but were very inefficient in that they had twice as many people on the base than they had number of runs. (My attempt at reporting what happened during the game may not be interesting).

I am very much used to the faster paced soccer games (that's football by the way) but I enjoyed sitting in the cold and guessing "balls" from "strikes". There was much less activity (it may be that it was not a particularly interesting baseball game) and I prefer playing it myself than just watching, but the slow pace meant that any good hit that propelled the ball up in the air guaranteed a little excitement, a small urge to witness a home run and I would edge a little bit off my seat. If it wasn't a magical hit, I would just sigh and sit back down, continue eating my fries, mutter how I could swing the bat better and make small talk about how cold it was sitting all the way up. If it was a good hit, especially a home run, even if it was an error by those on the field, I would, for a few seconds, become a baseball fan.

Descent from Ivory Tower

AdminSeptember 16, 2013

By falseconscious

Not literally. I live on the 1^st floor.

Among the many things I noticed when I arrived in D.C. a month ago: people who were less fortunate living on the streets in numbers way more than I’m used to back home. I have had to reassess my expectations of D.C. and the United States in general. Being a foreigner – specifically, a resident alien – it would be terrible for me to rely on false assumptions about this country. I have been trying my best to be politically correct, holding back my tongue, keeping in mind I know very little of the local community and hoping that there must be some form of social welfare “safety net” out there. Yet, culturally and emotionally, I find myself unable to avoid having sympathy for the homeless here.

As I find myself lost and unable to articulate my sympathy into words or manifest actions, it was a relief that I found a group of local students who I felt I could associate myself with.

Over the weekend, I joined “Project Downtown”, a regular occurring event in which members of the DC community come together to make sandwiches and assemble bagged lunches for the homeless members of the community. The number of people that came down to help out early on that Saturday morning gave me some assurance that there are people out there who are doing something to address the various issues affecting the local community.

Making sandwiches! Chips and bottles were included in the “gift pack”.

we went to Franklin Park to distribute the food.

The Project is a monthly event I intend to participate in. I know, a few sandwiches will not alleviate hunger in all of the United States or even D.C., I daresay it was barely significant, I might even be insulting, and I’m pretty sure there are people out there who might even be against the idea.

To put things in a different perspective, I’ve been getting free food for various reasons; they’re just getting some too.

Escape!

AdminSeptember 9, 2013

By falseconscious

ESCAPE

Let’s be realistic here. It would be weird if I woke up every morning totally in love with doing my readings. On second thought, I am weird and I do love my readings – some of it. I am different from the other exchange students and Americans in many ways. I don’t drink and, let’s just say, I would not score participation marks in any activity that involves it. So that pretty much forces me to find other ways of escaping the “stress” of keeping up with all the bright minds in GWU. Laundry and grocery shopping don’t count.

Georgetown

Does it count as taking a break if we wake up early and walk more than a mile? Yes it does, especially when we get free cupcakes. Every Friday or Saturday, while everyone else sleeps in bed my roommate and I would take long morning walks to D.C. Cupcakes in Georgetown for a free cupcake. They only have 100 each giveaway!

Walking to DC Cupcakes. “Bo” went with us that Saturday.

Here it is!

So many cupcakes!

Our free cupcakes of the day!

The best part about our walks back is sitting down by the Potomac and enjoying our free treats.

New York City

Over the weekend we figured we really needed to experience something else and New York is only a really affordable 5-hour bus ride away. My roommate and I out really early in the morning and arrived with much time to spare before lunch. Here, street food is halal and much cheaper and the tall buildings, fast cars and people provide a different atmosphere.

The city is far from calming, but just what we needed to freshen up for the weeks ahead. We took time to visit a few places to restock our supplies, find clothes to prepare for cooler weather expected in the weeks to come and buy souvenirs early so we won’t be distracted when there’s assignments to do and exams to study for.

We got a shock when we arrived because the city is much bigger than D.C. and everything was moving in a much faster pace. By dinner though, we kind of missed the calm tempo of Foggy Bottom.

Here’s a video of our little escapade:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fk_fBXrrDis&feature=youtu.be

First Week of Independence

AdminSeptember 3, 2013

Living on Campus

I was assigned a room in Ivory Tower with the most awesome roommates I can ever ask for.

Haziq (National University of Singapore), James (Uni Melbourne), Andreas (Copenhagen Business School), and Muhammed (National University of Singapore)

In the temple of the great emancipator, we sealed the bond of roommate-ship with a photograph, after a day’s worth of persistent counsel by those who have had bad experiences to compose a “Roommate Agreement”.

Being laid-back and very trusting of each other, we have yet to talk about anything related to any document of understanding ever since this photo was taken. The only thing we agreed upon was to take turns buying milk. The only other consensus was that cockroaches are not welcomed in our apartment.

I have stayed on campus back home occasionally to finish assignments and to do group work with friends, but this is a whole new experience. If I’m not making my own breakfast, I could get a dose of caffeine on my way out and before my hair dries, I’m already in class, answering a question, barely having swallowed a sandwich.

Now that I’m more orientated with the Foggy Bottom area, I find myself bravely using shortcuts to classes, confidently grabbing cheaper options for groceries on my way back to my room, comfortably eating from the many cafes, delis, vendors and food trucks around (I need my food to be halal) and smartly keeping quarters in my pocket for the trip to the laundry (when I say trip I mean 5 short strides to the machines across my room door).

Lessons and Challenges

I don’t have much to say about the classes I have so far since it has only been a week but what I can say is that I enjoy the “class participation” atmosphere here. My home university has vibrant and competitive “tutorials”, or the equivalent of discussion sections here, especially for participation. Here, participation also extends to “lectures” with impromptu polls and sharing of opinions on required readings as well as related current affairs. As a political science student, I somehow feel “at home”.

However, my greatest challenge here so far is the deficit of knowledge I have with regards to issues of local context. I am able to discuss theories and issues in general, but occasionally, I find myself lost when a reference is made regarding, for instance, the education system in the United States. Often, I am the only one not laughing when the lecturer makes a joke that only Americans would understand. I predict my non-involvement would get more serious as the weeks pass and I will have to borrow a few extra books to read over the weekends – I may still not laugh along, but at least, I hope, I will not be left behind in class.

I did get my first chance to “keep up” when a lesson was cancelled and I managed to catch President Obama giving a speech at the Lincoln Memorial!

YES! YES! YES!

To end off my first week, I went for some family-entertainment at the Verizon Center – WWE Live! I was a wrestling fan when I was very young and, like how I’m unfamiliar with U.S. politics, I had to “catch up” and learn about the new characters.

I found myself sympathetic towards “Daniel Bryan” and I loved chanting along with the crowd to cheer him on. Can I make it through the rest of this semester? YES! YES! YES! YES!

Colonial Intentions

AdminAugust 26, 2013

By falseconscious

When I knew I was supposed to blog about life as an exchange student here in D.C., I made a wrong assumption.

It was that I had to go out of my way to make my exchange life interesting enough so that the Office of Study Abroad would not regret making me represent Exchange Fall 2013 in this blog.

I came on the first day to check-in, expecting a routine, cookie-cutter, exchange orientation programme doled out every semester. Meaning to say, I was not expecting much since we were just going to be here for 4 months to a maximum sentence of a year and we were not going to be true “colonials” anyway. I naively thought of 2-3 fun activities off the top of my head to do by myself to fill up the first blog post since my arrival.

I was wrong, of course, because after getting our keys and going on a short but sufficient trip to Target for logistics, we began the week with a pool party at Mount Vernon. “Eyebrow-raising” is probably the closest adjective I can find to describe the past week.

Okay, the pool party was conservative because we were restrained by the awkwardness of barely having known each other’s names.

So, not to send any more wrong ideas to our parents who might be reading this (Hi Mom), here are some of the things that made my first week in D.C. worthy of a blog post:

Night Memorial-ing

We were given an informative tour of the memorials in the national mall at night, beginning with the Washington Monument and including the National World War II Memorial, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial and the Lincoln Memorial.

In the near-silence of the night, the tour was deservedly respectful where necessary, reminding us “non-resident aliens” that even though locals may occasionally drunk-memorial (verb), we would be living so near a place that holds significant symbolic value to the people here. Besides that, the entire place is as beautiful during the night as it is during the day and I realized I may be coming here quite often – sober.

50^th Anniversary of the March on Washington

When my friends and I heard that this was not part of the programme, we knew we had to somehow find a way to get ourselves involved. Even though I come from a place so distant from this very significant part of history, I find myself inspired by the narratives and even more by the people who, after 50 years, still have a strong emotional connection to this moment in time. It was just massive; people with all kinds of signs and posters, marching for old, unfinished causes and new ones.

We thought it would be pretentious if we borrowed a cause to march for, so we marched for our own personal causes and beliefs. I was just really glad to be part of this moment.

I even went to the Lincoln Memorial the night before to reflect in private.

Fall 2013 Exchange Orientation

Last but not least, the orientation programme itself was really fun; not merely because of the activities planned for us (I could go on and on about it), but because of the people who were part of it. You could sense the sincerity of the EXO leaders from the way they welcomed and got to know all of us.

They were volunteers and they did not really have to put in so much effort (in both senses – that is they could decide not to put in effort anytime, and that they were awesome people so their presence alone was premise for fun).

Yet, they still extended a hand of hospitality and some of them even hosted parties. In my case, my EXO leader, Ahana, was from Singapore. She and Charles really made me feel at home. As an exchange student, a traveler a wanderer in a foreign land, the guidance we received from the Office for Study Abroad, the facilitation we experienced with our EXO leaders and the nascent friendships we engendered were all precious blessings we really needed to kick-start life as a Colonial.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOMOgj3Y6ZA&feature=youtu.be]

Our attempted “Flashmob”!

Special thanks to everyone who made my first week away from home bearable, including my Dad who was with me for a few days before I moved in.

Colonial Intentions

Being “Colonial” means different things to different people. So I guess, it gives me the freedom to define for myself what being a non-resident, alien, temporary “Colonial” means. Hence, I would like to begin my exchange life with Al-Haddad's intention for seekers of knowledge which I shall re-purpose to fit this new context of life, in the world’s most powerful city where monuments and memorials stand to remind others of the price of freedom and the value of peace and justice, in a place that attracts the brightest of minds and the most intelligent of beings.

I intend to study and teach, take and give a reminder, take and give benefit, take and give advantage, to encourage the holding fast to exemplary virtues and noble values, and calling to guidance and directing towards good, hoping for the countenance of God and His pleasure, proximity and reward, transcendent is He.