Something that has been a big adjustment in my day to day life in India has been figuring out which spaces I can comfortably and appropriately occupy as a foreigner and as a woman. In Madurai, I have learned that spaces I would normally frequent in the U.S. (cafes and coffee/sweet stands, restaurants, etc.) are largely male dominated spaces.
Even in my daily interactions at a samosa stand near campus, I am often the only woman standing in a crowd of men having their afternoon coffee, reading the paper, chatting with friends, and observing the activity on the roads. This ratio is not an uncommon occurrence. In restaurants, walking on the road on my way to school, and even at the local shopping mall, the environment is largely male. At first, I didn’t really notice this unfamiliar social dynamic, and simply assumed that the isolation I was feeling in certain spaces was do primarily to my distinct “foreignness” (namely my whiteness).
However, after several weeks, I began seeing this isolation in a new context. Not only was I the only foreigner in a crowded public space, but I would also often be the only or one of a handful of women present. Some of this awkwardness and uncertainty has been significantly mitigated when I am out and about with my ammaa, who’s familiarity with these spaces makes my interactions with it much more comfortable, as well as providing me unique and meaningful access to some of these spaces.
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