My name is Mahalia Xiaoqi Smith. Born in Maoming, China in 1998, I was very likely my parent’s second born, meaning I was destined to be part of China’s “missing generation” — one of the millions of girls who went “missing” during this time due to the PRC’s one-child policy. However, I was lucky. I was rescued from the streets at six weeks old and taken to an orphanage. My mom adopted me when I was 7 months old and I have been immensely grateful for all of the opportunities I have been offered since.
Although the way my life began was a decision I cannot change, I will never let it define me. Nonetheless, my identity at birth has continued to drive my curiosities to the edge — to find myself and my place in our world.
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Despite the confidence I find within myself and exploring this world today, I was quite the exact opposite growing up as a child. I was always shy, always anxious, always nervous. Eventually, my mom made me personally answer all of her phone calls in order to improve my communication and people skills.
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In my junior year of high school, I was awarded a CIEE Congress-Bundestag Youth Exchange Scholarship to study in Germany for a year, live with a host family and attend a German high school. Although I had no prior knowledge of the German language, I decided to embrace the unknown, let go of any fears, shyness, or nervosity, and take a leap.
About three months after arrival in Germany, I was reading a novel in German -- the same novel I had begun reading about 2 months prior. As I was lying in bed, reading this book, I suddenly realized I was no longer translating German to English word-for-word as I had been previously. In fact, I was no longer translating at all. I simply understood exactly what I was reading without thinking about it.
Language acquisition and proficiency were not the only things I gained during my year in Germany. I learned about German culture, art, music, life, and society. I learned how it felt to be an ‘outsider’ at first. I learned to trust myself and others immensely; to be more adventurous and to take life as it comes; to be self-assured and confident in myself and my abilities. I learned what it meant to be an ambassador to the country I was not born in, but that is mine regardless. And most importantly, I learned what it means to be a global citizen — conscious and aware of not only my community and environment, but also individual actions, and behaviors, and how deeply those can affect others’ perceptions of myself and my culture as well.
Representing myself and my nationality in an entirely different culture allowed me to honestly educate others on my interpretation of my own culture and accordingly allowed me to learn others' perspectives on their own culture.
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For the first time, I’d like to share a video project I created with my friends and peers while studying in Germany.
You can watch it here on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ShZPhlIhQH0 (watch in HD for better quality)
Even though it is a little bit silly (with my friends dancing in the background for example), it is also a serious reminder that every single culture, racial, ethnic, or identity group is stereotyped in some way — as Americans, we are stereotyped (whether “good” or “bad”) every day, just as we stereotype others. It is a reminder to always be conscious, aware and careful of the way you present yourself to others and represent yourself around others, especially in situations in which you are immersed in another culture. I hope I was able to break some of the more negative American stereotypes while I was in Germany, and I️ hope humanity as a whole continues to persevere in overcoming such stereotypes across the globe.
Following my first long-term experience abroad, I was, in essence, the same me I was before, while simultaneously being a more educated, mature, conscious, and cultured ~global~ version of me. My year abroad consequently helped me realize the immense portion of our world that I have yet to explore and understand; additionally, my experience helped me realize the privileges I hold that others may never have.
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When I wake up to the sunlight shining through my windows; when I brush my teeth and get dressed; when I step outside and smell the smoggy Shanghai air; when I laugh so hard it hurts, I know I am alive. My experience opened my eyes to realize all I really want to do in this life is bring positive change into this world and into other humans’ lives so that in the future, for example, none experience the beginning I had — the beginning I did not have a choice in altering.
I think many dream of "making a difference" or "doing good" in our world, but how can one do so without some sort of awareness and understanding of our global community as a whole?
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If I’m being honest, I try not to define myself too much because I find that can place certain limitations on how I am perceived by others and even how I perceive myself.
Nevertheless, what I know definitively in this moment is:
I am a human, an American, a woman, and a global citizen looking to do some good — somehow, someday, someway — for other humans and for this world we live in together.
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万事开头难 — All things are difficult before they are easy.
