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Quality Over Quantity

By czhangangel

Previously in my last blog, I touched on how the Hong Kong/Chinese school system is a manifestation of and an influencer of cultural values. Recently, I have observed a difference between the young mindsets of Hong Kong residents and those of foreigners. When interacting with students at my school, we can relate to many things since we both have similar interests and life spans composing of development and life experiences. This applies to both my exchange/international friends as well as Hong Kong natives

However, I wonder, “why can’t I connect with Hong Kong natives on a deeper level or more naturally, like I do with my foreign friends?” I don’t believe it is a language or culture barrier since my foreigner friends are from all over the world such as Australia, Sweden, China, Canada, U.S., and U.K. – all with different cultures and where English may not their first language either. It is also not the difference in age or education level since we are all in the same or similar institutions. I believe it goes down to the difference in people’s experiences which helps them relate to and connect with others on a deeper level. In experience, there is a sharp difference between quantity and quality that contributes to character growth.

In Hong Kong, I hear more stories of, in my opinion, immaturity or lacking greater experience. I have been subject to people’s rants of a variety of situations in Hong Kong already – from both family and friends. For example, (in all anonymity) I’ve heard people only going study something at a certain place just because their parents said to, hiding a credit card bill because the person didn’t want his/her guardian seeing the amount of spending, and one asking his/her guardian to wipe his/her bottom after being constipated. Obviously, this is not to generalize all young Hong Kong people. I am only providing the causes for my impression. There are definitely “normal” people in the middle of these situations, but I think there are more cases of this “extremity” in Hong Kong than I have ever observed before.

I believe the cause is due to differences in parenting. Whenever I ask Hong Kong natives what they would like to do in life, why are they doing the things they are doing now, and such, some part of their answer is always “well my parents…” In a very family-oriented society, family and parenting greatly contribute to and affect one’s experiences and mindset. An example of family-oriented living in Hong Kong that is different than that of Western is that even when on the deathbed, the health professionals prioritize the wishes of family over the patient’s.

The heavy involvement of the family in a developing person’s life may result is not having original thoughts of his/her own such as just only following parent’s request. I have seen this result in resentment towards one’s parents and oneself which is ultimately not good for the family relationship. On the other hand, if the parents coddle and take of the child too much, the child may not be independent and take for granted of the parents’ support, resulting in requests such as to wipe one’s bottom, not taking responsibility for one’s actions, and verbally requesting for something that one can get themselves.

All in all, there is a difference between my Hong Kong and foreign friends, most likely due to the quality of experience. For foreigners, there already comes a thinking and experience when deciding to study or travel abroad. I have seen more people would in Hong Kong that do not have similar life experiences as people around my age from either my foreign friends in Hong Kong or friends back home than I normally anywhere else. A big influence of this phenomenon may the parenting styles of those in Hong/Kong which involves heavy involvement either in a strict or coddling way. I appreciate the parenting I received which incorporates the Western idea of independence and creative thinking.