Fear of missing out: The first world problem that almost all college students will admit to dealing with at some point in their four years at school. More affectionately known as “FOMO,” this disease is a culprit of the social media craze we now live in, causing twenty-somethings to stay up late at night looking at all the “fun” everyone else is having on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and more. It’s almost impossible to see a picture of all your friends smiling at a club or a bar somewhere and looking like they’re having a grand old time without feeling left out and sad for missing the fun. News flash: They’re probably not having as much fun as it looks. And while you’re wasting your time scrutinizing everyone else’s lives, you’re missing out on living your own. But clearly, and I am as guilty of this as anyone else, this is much easier said than done.
When I decided to go abroad, I was elated that I wouldn’t be looking at everyone else’s photos abroad wishing I was experiencing what they were. Going abroad looked like the experience of a lifetime – traveling, seeing new things, living a completely different life – I wondered how I could possibly have FOMO while living in Spain. For crying out loud, I was going to be living in EUROPE. I wasn’t going to be missing out on anything. Wrong. The disease creeps back in slowly, without you even noticing it’s there. The first time I felt it was when some of my friends decided to go on a last-minute (and too expensive for me) trip to Lisbon, Portugal the second weekend we were here, and I decided to stay in Madrid to get some rest after the first few weeks and to save money for bigger, better trips. Boy, did I regret that (or so I thought). When I got Snapchats of my new friends in Lisbon, basking in the beautiful weather and enjoying a new city already, I felt lame. I laid in my bed at 1am thinking that I should’ve just bitten the bullet and spent the money, despite it being extremely overpriced because the trip was planned just a few days before.
I also felt it when Recruitment happened back at school in DC. My sorority gained almost sixty new members and bonded even more closely due to the rigorous nature of sorority rush. I was left out of all of that. Tears came to my eyes when I saw everyone’s new profile pictures from Bid Day on the National Mall, all their Instagrams from each night of Recruitment, and when I missed out on welcoming my new Grand Little to the sorority family. I was abroad in Spain, one of the most magical events of my life so far, and yet I wanted to be home, mixed up in sorority drama and exhausted from recruiting new girls. It didn’t seem fair. Why couldn’t I just enjoy the life I was living in the moment? Why did social media affect me so much?
This weekend, I had planned to go on a five-day, four-city trip across Italy with some of my close friends. However, due to the amount of traveling I have done in the past few weeks, I realized I simply could not afford the expensive trip they were going to take. I am much more financially independent than most of my peers, due to my family’s economic situation, and I do not have the luxury of falling back on my parents if I am low on funds. I financed almost this entire study abroad experience myself with scholarships and loans, and all the money I’ve spent here is money I have saved up from working for the last two years of college (and even before that). I realized I simply did not have the ability to go on another trip and still be able to live reasonably and comfortably next semester when I get home. So I made the decision not to go. Yes, I have been close to tears when I see the Snapchats and Instagram posts from my friends that went on this trip. The FOMO really never seems to end. Yet I am comforted by one important thing – that I came to Spain to immerse myself in a new culture, to live like a Madrileña, and this weekend, I have fully embraced that. I have spent extremely valuable time with my host mom – going to the movies, going shopping, eating meals together, listening to classical music, meeting more members of her extended family and her friends, and seeing even more of Madrid that I never knew existed. I feel immensely more connected to the culture here by just allowing myself to spend one weekend without traveling. They say no money is ever wasted on travel, but when you don’t have the money to “waste,” there is always an equal, if not better, alternative.
FOMO is a curse that, if you care enough, will follow you for the rest of your life. However, once you learn to let go, you’re able to see that the life you are living is worth something too. If you waste your time worrying about what kind of fun everyone else is having, you miss out on the experiences you can take advantage of right in front of you. This is such an important lesson for me and I owe it all to my study abroad experience for making me realize the importance of my own situation, desires, and choices. No one can live my life for me, so if I don’t live it myself, it goes to waste. Realizing this, I can let go of outside pressure, and make the most of what I want my experience to be.