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When Two Families Collide

By zoegoldstein23

This week was extremely special for me. On Wednesday, my parents arrived in Madrid to spend some time in Spain with me. My brother is currently at basic training to become a U.S. Marine at Camp Pendleton in San Diego, so I was sad he was unable to come too, but I know he would’ve if he could. Having my family here to witness my study abroad experience alongside me was really incredible. I’ve been in a constant state of “go, go, go” for the past two months that I haven’t really had time to stop and reflect on how far I’ve come since I first got here, and this weekend I was finally able to do that.

We were still busy every day they were here, but I enjoyed getting to play “tourist” in Madrid since I haven’t had much time to explore the actual city I live in. I took my parents to a few different markets, El Parque de Retiro, the Prado Museum (they went while I was in class on Thursday), a flamenco show, Gran Vía for some shopping, and MANY wonderful restaurants with great food. It was nice to finally be able to sit down at a restaurant and legally have a glass of wine with my parents. My dad travels all over Europe a lot for work, but it was especially exciting for me to show my mom, who had never been to continental Europe, how I’ve situated myself so smoothly into the Spanish culture. I could tell my parents were very proud of me.

Spending a few days with my parents outside of my daily life in Madrid really pushed aside any doubts I had before about how well I’m doing here. I realized that although my Spanish isn’t perfect, it’s come so far in such a short time. I can easily navigate my way through the city without using a word of English, which astounded my parents and gave me a lot of confidence. It was shocking to me that I could translate for my parents at restaurants and help us find our way around without English signs or directions. For the first time since I’ve been here, I’ve really accepted the fact that I have accomplished something HUGE by studying abroad here and completely immersing myself in the language and the culture. It hasn’t always been easy, but I’m seeing now that it’s starting to pay off immensely.

Today was perhaps the most important day of my parents’ visit – the day they got to meet my host mom and her daughter’s family. I unexpectedly became nervous as we rode the elevator up to my host mom’s apartment. This was the real test, seeing if I could help two groups of people communicate that didn’t fully understand each other’s languages (luckily, my host mom’s daughter and granddaughter knew a lot more than I thought). I had to be the mediator for four or five hours with people that were counting on me to keep the conversation flowing (especially with my host mom, who doesn’t speak a word of English, and my parents, who know very little Spanish). When we walked in the door, though, I immediately realized that even though my two families didn’t understand each other’s languages, they still understood each other. With the help of hand gestures, my translating (which I realized I was a lot better at than I thought), and body language like smiling and laughing, we spent a wonderful time together as if knowing the same language wasn’t even necessary. It was really an enlightening experience for me. I’ve been growing accustomed to Spanish culture, which is different in many ways than American culture, but I realized that we are all humans and we all communicate in the same way, and we can understand each other on a deeper level than just words.

Since my parents leave early tomorrow morning, I knew tonight was the last time I’d be able to see them. When they stood up to go, I gave my mom a huge hug and felt the tears start to come. When I looked up, I realized that not only was my mom crying, but my host mom and her daughter also had tears in their eyes. They felt the mother-daughter bond that my mom and I have without completely understanding what we were saying. It was such a powerful moment that it made me cry even harder. When my mom hugged my host mom and thanked her (in English) for taking care of me so well, they both understood each other completely, and she wholeheartedly embraced her back. It was incredible to see two distinct cultures come together so intimately over the understanding of family love. I know my mom feels more secure about me being here now that she’s seen how wonderful my host mom is, and that puts me more at ease as well.

After such an incredible weekend, now it’s back to real life tomorrow – or as real as “real life” can be in Spain! Until next week!