By nlgyon
For adventurers like me, the first few days in a new place are exciting, and the newer the place, the longer it stays exciting. I think recently thoughI've reached a turning point where the excitement that accompanies the unknown is starting to wear off, and what shows through this fading layer of excitement are the inevitable lows that make up a real, whole experience. I'm sliding into a routine, which is good for productivity, but makes for a pretty forgettable, boring experience. I've started to use English more readily just because sometimes it's easier for all parties involved in the interaction, which in the end just makes me feel like I'm wasting my time, and that I'm failing to meet my biggest goal. Finally, I'm starting to really miss some things about home (good milk, unlimited fast internet, proximity to grocery stores and restaurants, and more), and even more importantly I'm really starting to miss some people. Life abroad isn't a vacation--you still have good days and bad days.
A lot of times you'll talk to someone that has studied abroad and of course their trip was so awesome, they loved it, etc. People give these types of answers partially out of convenience, because it's impossible to accurately sum up 16 weeks in a small conversation, but also because no one really wants to hear anything negative. It puts them in an uncomfortable position; the listener for some reason feels obliged to comfort someone when they hear they had a negative experience, and feels bad that they had to experience it.
Despite sliding into some of these not-so-amazing parts of studying abroad, I know that they are good for me in the long run because they're not permanent downsides of life--they'll just take some gumption or a change in perspective to overcome. Breaking my routine will help me learn to be more spontaneous. Becoming more persistent in my Arabic usage will yield much better language skills. Letting go of creature comforts will help me be less materialistic and focus on the important things, like friends and family. I don't think I'll stop missing them, but in the end missing them will be a positive experience because of the appreciation I'll have gained for them. I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes that expresses a very important but very overlooked idea:
"I actually attack the concept of happiness. The idea that - I don’t mind people being happy - but the idea that everything we do is part of the pursuit of happiness seems to me a really dangerous idea and has led to a contemporary disease in Western society, which is fear of sadness. It’s a really odd thing that we’re now seeing people saying “write down 3 things that made you happy today before you go to sleep”, and “cheer up” and “happiness is our birthright” and so on. We’re kind of teaching our kids that happiness is the default position - it’s rubbish. Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, failure; all of those things which make us who we are. Happiness and victory and fulfillment are nice little things that also happen to us, but they don’t teach us much. Everyone says we grow through pain and then as soon as they experience pain they say “Quick! Move on! Cheer up!” I’d like just for a year to have a moratorium on the word “happiness” and to replace it with the word “wholeness”. Ask yourself “is this contributing to my wholeness?” and if you’re having a bad day, it is."
-Hugh Mackay