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Teachings From Nepal

By tierneybb

Nepal has taught me a lot about self reliance: it's overrated.   In America I consider myself to be quite self reliant, rather independent and self-sufficient, always able to achieve my goals on my own.  But in a country that is quite literally "off the map" with un-plottable streets that laugh at the notion of google maps or guidebooks, I have come to trust in the easily offered help of strangers, and it is wonderful.  
Of course I was skeptical at first.  People don't exactly go out of their way to help strangers in D.C, certainly not tourists, and definitely wouldn't take time out of their day to keep helping that inept and confused traveller, but that is exactly what people do here.  Last weekend looking to get out and explore my roommate and I heard about a festival happening on the city outskirts set atop a hill in Chobar.  So we went to the bus park and asked around for the bus (while I love that all of them are painted brightly and ornamented with garlands and the full pantheon of Hindu deities, they are rarely ornamented with things like route signs in English, anyone who needs that bus just knows it).  While we waited for our stop a man started a conversation by congratulating us for re-electing Obama (his cult of personality is quite strong here, most Nepalis I've spoken to  don't at all understand Romney, and, well, the ex-pat and student crowd generally isn't in a position to explain his popularity any better).  He happened to be from Chobar, and at the stop directed us to the stairs up to the hamlet, and seeing we would soon be lost started showing us around.  In addition to the local sights we would have seen (after wandering around woefully lost), the local temple covered in centuries worth of silver-cookware hung up by newly weds for good luck, we were given a tour of the local shrine overlooking the whole of the Kathmandu valley by his cousin, who happens to be the caretaker, and a professional astrologer, so he read our horoscope (it was wonderful because he was so honest when my roommate's came up wonderful, and mine was mediocre, I've never had a mediocre fortune before and it makes me think it might be a little more credible). We got shown the whole town and were dropped back off at the bus stop by our new friend, who had been on his way home from work, but spent two hours showing us around instead, proud of his town, but also just genuinely nice.  It's considered good to help others, karmic-ly of course, but socially as well.    And people expect you to be as open and friendly as well, something I've struggled to live up to when people approach just wanting to practice their English.
Friends are made easily here, and connections get everything done.  Sitting in a tailor's shop picking out fabric for too long will get you invited to the family's Dasain celebration, and I'm looking forward to a Thanksgiving potluck at Sal's pizzeria, where the owner saw we were the only customers, and he was making crepes, so he made using to  some free crepes and invited us to his annual tradition.  Mentioning the program guru's name is as good as gold, a student of Hubert can get a meeting with anyone.  But chances are name dropping is unnecessary, as generally interest alone will get people to be unfathomably accommodating.  Getting to a new part of town requires extra time, but asking people is the only option as traditionally Patan was designated by the courtyards or temples nearby, street names are new and are rarely applicable for more than a block, but there are always people sitting out and watching life go by who will gladly give directions (but a written name is helpful as precision is a key factor in Nepali pronunciation that I have not mastered).  So I've come to embrace this acceptance of help from others.  While occasionally this means I get misdirected or rebuffed, it's been really liberating to be able to rely on the kindness of others.