“The most effective leaders face reality head on, especially in times of crisis. And that’s exactly what parents need to do. Coronavirus is a leadership challenge for working parents.”
COVID-19 is disrupting business as usual. Working parents are facing a complex set of questions about how to manage work, school and daycare closures.
In the following Harvard Business Review article, the authors share a set of guidelines to help prepare for the widespread disruption of school and work that draws on the leadership principles and practices they have applied in their new book Parents Who Lead.
Talk to your boss.
Now is the time to speak to your manager, one-on-one. It will benefit you, your boss, and your children if you create an intentional approach to extended school closures, understanding that you and your boss are both facing difficult, unexpected, and uncharted choices.
Think through scenarios (travel, meetings, schedules, workload etc.) and clarify your mutual expectations for various scenarios: “Here is my understanding of how we might handle this situation. Do I have it right? What am I missing? Remember that the goal is to find ways to make things work for everyone, not just you. These conversations should not launch with how your work must accommodate your family life. Such zero-sum thinking (good for me, bad for my boss) isn’t likely to get you the support you need or build a strong foundation for your on-going relationship.
If you’re in a managerial role or work closely with a team, you may need to have more than one of these conversations. The good news is that genuine conversations like these strengthen relationships and improve performance for everyone.
Get on the same page as your parenting partner.
Even under the best circumstances, figuring out how to share childcare and housework responsibilities with a parenting partner can be fraught with frustration and resentment. (Note that “parenting partner” refers to anyone with whom you share responsibility for raising children.)
Whether it’s working in shifts or creating different zones in the house, seek out creative solutions to support the home together. You will need to continue being willing to adjust on the fly; but if you do your calm and rational talking now, when you aren’t in crisis mode, you will likely be better able to create a plan that will work for everyone.
Leverage technology wisely.
For younger children, recognize that you may have to relax normal screen-time restrictions to free you up to get more work done. For older children, keep in mind that they may be expected to use technology to complete schoolwork from home. If you do not have enough computers and tablets for everyone to use at the same time, consider how you can work with what you have so that everyone can do what they need.
Understand the limitations of your technological capabilities. For example, your internet speed might not support your video conference calls while your kids stream Netflix.
Closings due to coronavirus are different than snow days when children often get together and entertain each other while a parent works from home. Since the goal is to contain a highly contagious virus, social distancing will be the norm and technology may, briefly, need to be your child’s best friend — and teacher.
Mobilize your village.
While it isn’t feasible to trade-off childcare responsibilities (due to quarantine restrictions), consider other ways in which you can make things easier for one another — whether it’s sharing creative activities to keep the kids entertained or taking turns grocery shopping. Similar to how the university is teaching classes via webinar — with each student on their own laptop, having conversations in virtual breakout rooms — kids can get together for virtual play dates, in groups of various sizes. Be open to new ways of doing things.
Remember the bigger picture.
There are countless opportunities to talk with our children about what we value as parents, and this community health crisis demonstrates the importance of helping others, looking out for people in need, the efficacy of small actions (like handwashing or not going to large gathering places) in order to protect others. Hard as it might be to do so, try to place the day-to-day frustrations and compromises within the scope of the larger reason our schools and workplaces are closed — to safeguard the most vulnerable members of our society. As parents who lead, we can teach important lessons about what really matters to our children in this trying time.
